(cross post from ATRP)

I married this girl way too soon and we moved in together way too soon. She preached she was clean, loved cooking, and was motivated in life. Well, the first six months were great and after that it was a steady decline. Out come the depression excuses, anxiety, etc. I tell her very calmly and clearly that we can work through these issues and get her help, but that they aren't to be used as an excuse when dealing with me. I always maintained frame and didn't yell or give in to her little attitudes. I'd just go off and do what I felt like doing.

2 months ago she decides to start shit testing me HARD comes in and says, "Where's dinner? What are you making?" in a commanding voice, i laugh, and say, "Nothing now, too bad you didn't want to be respectful" Admittedly, she had been making food and it was definitely my turn, but damn I was about to get started in 45min, but there's no way after that.

I tell her that we aren't working out and it's time to call it quits. She cries while freaking out, tries to cuddle on me, but I wouldn't let her. Makes all the same promises for change I've heard, (the main issues were lack of cleaning up after herself and just having the motivation and schedule of an adult)starts pointing fingers, making excuses, and I just couldn't do it.

Now here's my issue: This was the one time I had probably truly ever gotten to her based on her emotions at the time. I had it in my head that I just had to leave and the changes would all be the same situation in a couple months. I don't possess any regrets besides not giving it a week to see if any would change.

This regret has been amplified because I found TRP about a week later and realized where I was maybe 1/3rd of the problem. I wasn't exercising like I used to, I wasn't moving forward in my sales career fast enough, and we just had a lot of time together at home. Neither of us were making good money so we wouldn't even have five dollars to our name to go somewhere. I can totally see now why she might have been acting out towards the end based on my performance as a man. She knew it would be a slow start, but it still must have gotten her down.

I just can't help but think if I would have given it some time, found TRP sooner, and began improving myself, that she would follow the lead. I haven't filed divorce papers yet (money), haven't broke radio silence even though she was messaging me up to 14 days later, and have been strictly trying to build my career. I have zero intention of crawling back to her, but I'm sure she'll see me within the next 2 months somehow.

My ultimate question is: If I encounter her and she tries to get back - should I give it a shot or just call it quits?

If she were to actually grow up and become a woman, she'd be fucking great, and I know it. I wouldn't move back in with her, double up on our finances(we never did this, fortunately), or anything like that. I'd remain exclusive and leave when I felt it was right. I'm only having these issues because out of the 40 or so belt notches, countless women encountered, she's been the only one that I've been convinced was worth a try. I know this sounds like one-itis and it probably is, but should I really throw my 3 year marriage away?

last bit: I've been with a couple girls since to try and get her out of my head, but even the fucking 9's and 10's I spot out and about don't seem to compare to this woman. I luckily didn't pedestal her and that was definitely upsetting to her sometimes. I just can't shake how I miss her playful nature and knowing there was a tickle war waiting for me in the bedroom, i miss her REALLY good oral, her sense of humor, and most importantly, the look in her eye when she looked at me. Even at the end, I was the one holding sex. I didn't want her to feel like she could give me bad attitude and still get it, but the realization of now is that she probably just wanted rough sex and couldn't communicate it.