Hamstering? As I was typing up everything below I am not sure anymore, probably more frame control. But I do know that I approached and observed the issue with more of a red pill mindset which lead to a better outcome.

Last night, after we got back from running errands, my oldest daughter says that she got this weird Facebook message from her (step)cousin about how nanna (my step mom) is upset and hurt that there was no "thank you" sent for the Halloween goodies they sent down and she is tired of it and won't be sending down any more gifts, not even for Christmas.

Now my wife and step-mother don't get a long, have different views on things and have butted heads more than a few times in the past. Needless to say, hearing this set my wife off. She demanded my daughter sign into Facebook so she could tell my niece off because she is not going to put up with this passive aggressive guilt trip shit.

The way that side of my family operates is a bit odd to me, but I knew that if my wife went off on my niece who likes to start drama and is already dealing with a number of life and psychological issues, I would no doubt hear about it from my sister and dad and it would not be good. On the other hand, I spent a good number of years dealing with bullshit like this from them, so I told my wife to go ahead and say what needed to be said but I wanted to hear it first, and I would deal with the fallout tomorrow (today, now). It took 45 minutes, and about 5 revisions of the message, that went from short and mean, to about 3 paragraphs that explained some details and was softer in the delivery of the message. It was pretty interesting to observe how this all played out. Every time my wife would revise the message and read it, I would tell her that she did a good job with one part, but she might want to change this other part. Everything eventually got settled and the rest of the night went very well.

I am 100% certain that it would have been a totally different outcome and a super miserable night filled with drama and rage if I let my wife's emotions get to me. Instead I let her emotions run their course, and guided her through it without getting emotional. It was a good refresher lesson that the hamster isn't always related to sex, and that it can work in mysterious ways. Sometimes you can catch it and watch it spin in it's wheel for a bit. When you do, take that opportunity to watch and learn its ways.