I've recently finished No More Mr Nice Guy! And the author is clear that making the change has saved as many (good) relationships as it has ended (bad ones).

Your wife may not be willing to deal with the new terms of your relationship. You can stack all the odds in your favor by becoming a sex god, lifting, leading, and showing her strength by maintaining frame, but in the end she may not be able to live with that. Or You might realize you can't live with her anymore, and that you need to walk.

Once you set your boundaries in stone, it changes everything.

In a marriage context outcome independence means being OK with divorce.