So last night the wife looks over at me and says that she finally feels back to her old self (meaning the interstitial cystitis medication did the trick).

I look over and smile knowingly , give her a little naughty wink and raise my eyebrows up and down a few times. She busts out laughing and says "Please give me a few days of feeling normal at least!"

I laugh back and tell her she's safe till Sunday. We both laugh. I look away at something our kid is doing and look back at her to see the hamster wheel start to turn. It's like watching a funnel cloud slowly make it's way to the ground. Now that I know what to look for... I get to see this one coming.

She looks back and me and says "You know, after all this discomfort THAT is what you're worried about?"

Now in absence of all other circumstances ... you know what? She's right. I hope to not let the thoughts play on my face, make a mental note that I may have impinged a bit and this might be a comfort test, but not knowing exactly the right course of action I just smirk at her and stay silent and go back to watching what the kid is doing. It was a mild hamster, but I had to mull on how right she was.

1st thing: she laughed. She knew it was an impish moment. Her initial reaction was the goal reaction. Humor , a little flirting, etc.

2nd thing: I've asked her on several occasions (outside any valid arena of it being about sex) if she was feeling better over the past few weeks. My concern for her is genuine. She knows this. Saying that she questions that over one humerous moment , and working up a hamster to it, smacked more of shit than comfort test.

But, in a vacuum, she was right about the sensitivity.

Evening progresses and I'm passing her in the hall. I just grab her in a hug around her shoulders and kiss her.

Me: "You REALLY know I'm always concerned about your health first, right?"

Her:"Yes, of course. Thank you."

Me, wait for a few seconds: "Because I'd hate to have to replace you... unless we can get me a surrogate."

Her (laughs) "Oh great make me feel even more useless." <- The crux of the biscuit

Me: "No, you can be there and watch."

Her "Gross!" but still laughing.

And that was that.

My takeaway was that technically she was right and it could have been a comfort issue. but by not playing into the moment and reassuring her/getting defensive immediately of my (already previously proven) concern I think it would have sent up red flags (validated her concern) and could have triggered some bickering. I give her reassurance later when it's not part of a test at all. NOW that it's not in the moment it's once again not tainted. Of course, I still had to make sure to follow up with more a.m. on it. She married someone who teases,jokes and makes her laugh. And now that he's back he isn't going anywhere.