This red pill stuff is slowly sinking in. I feel much more confident, happy, and satisfied with life. Plus, I have this deep deep need to better myself and grow.

I am married with 3 kids. This means I give A LOT of myself to them. My kids are all under 9 so there is still a ton of getting breakfast ready, helping get dressed, etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc etc.

And as many former blue pillers know- there is A LOT that my wife "requires" of me.

One of the reasons I found the red pill was the desire to just do fucking less. I couldn't add a second more to my day and I was still super stressed out, unhappy, angry, freaking out internally daily.

The concept of setting boundaries and saying no exploded in my face when I started reading up things around here. I had it in my head that a proper husband does shit for others. A proper man, person, father, is giving and selfless.

But fuck that, I was giving out of nothing and wasting away because of it. I was probably destined for an early heart attack or a mid-life crisis where I get in my car and keep driving until I am far away from my responsibilities.

So I put my foot down. Began saying no. Setting boundaries and giving less. Put I did it with extreme calmness. Not whiny or shitty or angrily. "I am not going to do that for you anymore" became a bit of a mantra.

My wife starting getting really whiny. She has never been much of a whiner but man alive it was nuts. I love getting an early start so around 10:00 most everyday I go to sleep now. My wife, somewhere before midnight maybe. "Wont you stay up and watch another show with me? Dont you want to hang out?" etc whiny etc.

She even brought up how she feels our relationship is becoming more traditional and that she needs more of my help.

Yet every day last week she had dinner prepped (I usually cook 75% of the time when I am at home), groceries shopped for, and she stopped bugging me to help her all day long.

her texts messages changed from asking me for things to talk, flirting, etc. Much more fun.

I also text her back A LOT less.

My time is important. I am important. My desires are the most important.

Giving less may actually save our marriage. I am not an asshole about it whatsoever. I just have only so much time each day, resources, energy, effort, to be able to give.

AND now I have a ton more energy for work and for my kids. Fun fun fun.

So the lie that a husband gives all he can and maybe gets out once in a while to golf or drink with buddies to re-energize is a big ass LIE.

By becoming a "worse" husband I actually become much more desirable as a husband. Weird shit man.