Hey TRP'ers, I don't have an extensive list for you, but I think it'd be beneficial if we could identify the various strategies employed by women (and feminists) to undermine or covertly undercut men both casually and formally.
Examples of this:
1) The Tone Police
You have a disagreement, and regardless of how virtuous you were or how right you know you are--the moment you express anger or hurt, or even make a slip of tongue, the entire conversation will devolve with you as perpetrator of the feelz™ and can expect to have demands for backpedalling or apologies thrown your way. It's classic misdirection--the topic at hand is now irrelevant, and the predicating actions or words from the woman, hurtful or spiteful or blatantly condescending nonwithstanding, count for nothing because reasons. Suddenly it's your behavior that must be held accountable to her feelings, you lost your calm controlled frame and now must choke on your own hurt pride. This can extend to fair-minded rationality as well, as claims of misogyny and other shaming notions are catapulted onto you for daring oppose the female narrative.
While you apologize (or possibly hug her and promise you never meant to hurt her feelings, if an SO), you swear you can see a smile underneath her tears.
The defense:
Never lose frame. Calm collectedness is your only option for success.
As Dale Carnegie wrote in HTWFAIP: Almost nobody responds rationally and with self-reflection in the face of open criticism. The only arguments that can be won are the ones avoided. If you use silence to its full advantage, and execute a discussion that slowly leads it to where you want it to go--either to demonstrate inconsistencies or allow your opponent's own vitriol to burn them, you can exit unscathed and maintain a higher value. Naturally if the offender in question is someone you can tell to go fuck themselves, then use at will.
The "Real Man"/AKA "Man Card Privileges"
This one is a call to your dignity as a human being, an attack on your self-perception and how you ought to be perceived within society. You act according to your own self-interest and refuse to cede your ego to the expectations of the woman, and she has carte blanche to define your worth as a man.
The Defense:
Don't let women define your worth, ever. You must compare yourself and your worth only by how your merits stack up for your own goals and aspirations, influenced by those you admire and want to emulate. If you give ground, you are merely a mule who can be lead with the carrot of your own deluded sense of dignity.
Good verbal retorts are:
Agree and Amplify, but maintain position
-"Yes, of course, Grand Arbiter of the Man Card."
-(with snark) "My deepest regrets, thy will be done, milady."
-(playful and sincere) "Oh, I love this game-- since we're sexually objectifying each other now-- where is my sandwich, and why aren't you in the kitchen?"
The Subterfuge Damsel AKA "The Hydra"
What with the whole Zoe Quinn fiasco going on in the gaming scene, I find this tactic to be pretty insidious. It really doesn't even matter how premeditated and dastardly a woman sets this plan into motion, once she can bully her way into a setting and receive any resistance or backlash to her shitty or manipulative behavior--any men who stand against her are branded as misogynistic mouth-breathers/abusers/human garbage who hate her because she is a woman. This example is also seen when women hit men knowing the white knights/cops will be her trump card in the event of retaliation, when men try to leave sexual relationships and are threatened with rape allegations/unexpected pregnancies, and pretty much any instance where a bully can force her way into getting what she wants, and wins by assuming the victim stance for 3rd parties (enter: armies of white knights)
(relevant: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect & http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E2%80%9CWomen_are_wonderful%E2%80%9D_effect)
The Defense:
Context dependent, but this tactic is heinous, determinedly one nasty piece of work that can't be beaten with logic or proof or even opting out of the situation. Frame won't win unless one holds all the cards, which is statistically unlikely for most scenarios, and I honestly can't think of a good shield in today's legal & social climate. Fighting it usually only makes it worse (as the hydra gains heads to snap at you), and ultimately proves futile.
This is not near complete, so let's define as many as we can come up with and the best defenses for each.
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