I've been hurting her alot recently. But I've finally got myself a counselor for my mental health. It got so bad that I smashed my own stuff.

I want to fix my marriage but I don't know if it's too late. The first time I hurt her she wanted to divorce me. Which I said go ahead with but she didn't file. But the second time she asked me if I was seeing someone else. I felt bad and didn't realize how shitty I've been. I want to change, but I don't know if she still wants to be with me or not.