I'm about 1 year in and I have only just realised I am a needy bitch. Or at least i was.
NOTE: I am going to go a bit theoretical here. Bear with me or stop reading.
I have been reading Mark Mansons models book, and the concept of neediness hit home hard with me, in fact his story about Ryan may as well have been me. Despite the books purple pill (at best) concepts, neediness was something that really applied to me. Here is my brief background.
Maybe not full alpha but a confident in demand 20 year old, i met my wife at college. I was not needy (aloof) and i had abundance. I chose between a few girls to be exclusive with my wife. I would choose surfing over hanging out with her. Together for 10 years, we bought a house. During that time I had some health issues and developed a decent amount of neediness. This was not my downfall, although perhaps was the start of a behaviour change. We got married, had two kids. Her career took off and that included a frequent amount of travel. I struggled. Yes it was hard to be dealing with the youngsters and my own full time job. But what i really struggled with was my wifes path away from my Disney dream. I was all in on the Disney Dream, I had it mostly how i wanted. I remember saying we could take it easy for 5 years, to enjoy the young kids and then ramp it all back up. That is not how it went down.
And I became a needy motherfucker. "When will you be home? Why are you always so tired?" Can you.... / please..../ why wont you..... . I may as well been dragged down the hall hanging onto her jacket as she left for work.
So back to neediness. What i most found relevant to me was the intersection between abundance / scarcity and neediness / non-needy. Needy is a mindset.
You can have abundance and be needy. You can have scarcity and be non-needy. What is important about this is that whilst we (men) experience abundance or scarcity directly, they (women) perceive only neediness or non-neediness. If they experience dread or see you get attention from other girls, they perceive non-neediness. Mark also goes to some length to explain that PUA is in part the demonstration of non-neediness as a performance, and that this won't work long term (ie LTR or Marriage) as the girl will eventually see that that is not the real you, and will realise that you are in fact needy (the beta backslide). Think about it. Waiting 5 days to call a girl is a fake way of displaying non-neediness. Having girls surround you in a bar is abundance and will be perceived as non-neediness. In contrast being a cool dude with lots of friends and things happening, is a real display of non-neediness. Having no friends, being overweight, and no options is needy. Throwing down the divorce papers first is (in theory) a display of non-neediness. Oneitis is neediness. Validation is neediness. Enter MRP, the best guide available to be non-needy (and also better looking).
The MRP plan is to better one self and this is highly consistent with Marks comments. Being a better man is likely to lead to abundance, but do not mistake abundance for achieving non-neediness. Non-neediness is a miindset that must be cultivated. It might follow natural on from your changes, but it wont automatically.
There is one last aspect to this that is not discussed but i think is relevant. Men have a built in neediness which is need for sex. Yes, women need sex, but it is not the same frequency. In an LTR / marriage, a man is locked (in theory) to the partner / wife. This is a surefire way to create neediness in a man, aka the dancing monkey / choreplay.
Non-neediness (the alpha mindset) comes from a combination of being the best you can be AND cultivating the least needy mindset you can.