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I'm a little lost regarding my LTR of 5 years on respect and boundaries

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July 6, 2016


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Title I'm a little lost regarding my LTR of 5 years on respect and boundaries
Upvotes 7
Comments 10
Date 06 July 2016 02:21 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationship

[–]redearththeory5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you want to stay with this girl, you need to be more attractive and display higher value than dudes like A and B. The following behavior are unattractive and DLVs

live with our parents

I didn't have any plans for the evening

I told her I wouldn't want her to go

I told her I would resent her if she went.

The fact that you know or care about this is a DLV.

she goes to the BBQ and she doesn't get home until late, past 12am.

If you don't live together, how do you know when she got home?

The following is not necessarily a mistake, if you can deliver it with an IDGAF attitude and not butthurt.

Next I told her, do what makes you happy (mistake #2?)

That's what I told my wife when she said she wanted a divorce and I think that should be the only response to a woman threatening to leave.

But you need to look at the bigger picture. You are clearly threatened by her new friends and are responding with butthurt and trying to control her, which is a huge beta DLV. Your attitude towards her should be "You want to go out without me? Awesome, I have tons of places to go with other beautiful young women, I'll see you later." If you don't have tons of places to go with beautiful young women, you need to change that so that you do. That's the way to fix this situation if you want to stay with her. But really my answer to this question

My question is what would you do in my shoes

I'd be single and plate spinning all the pretty young girls.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Red pill stuff aside, because it's clear you need to read up on that, one thing I wanted to comment on was:

she's talking to them a lot via instant messaging (I'm not sure about texts but I know they have her #)

I've noticed a weakness in guys where as long as information does not fall into their lap then they are content to just waffle in ignorance. Think she has a thing for these guys? Do due diligence. Check her phone, emails, etc. Don't just sit there and say "well I haven't really come by any indication of her cheating by words in the wind so until then ill just blindly forge agead". Check. If there is indication that she's straying then great now you can dump her ass (and then go read the sidebar)! If not, it'll likely reduce the insecure issues you have which are evident by your mateguarding her by guilting her into not to go to a BBQ when you're sitting on your ass at home.


Answer to whether she's cheating or not aside...note that the problem here IS YOU. She is doing nothing wromg going to a fucking BBQ. Looking through her phone is just collecting the information available to you so you can make a more informed decision on whether or not to spend more of your time with her. But for your time to be worth something to be valued, YOU have to be worth something to be valued. The whole mindset of "I'm not worried if she goes to a mixed group's BBQ with guys trying to fuck her because I'm a top teir man with plenty of other options out there" only works if you ARE a top teir man. You lift, you have your shit together, you hold frame, you groom and have style and are naturally social with men & women.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

My question is what would you do in my shoes

You are 26, just graduated and living at home. I would branch swing from you. Time to fly little birdie. Sidebar is to the right, then go post in the OYS thread in /r/marriedredpill.

What are you doing to improve?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damned I have a boner thinking about your living at home and you being my man, especially planning for a good time on the 4th

How about planning a get away with a fucking hotel Oh fuck that and hand the keys for her chastity belt to the dudes chasing her. Course you'll have to ask your momma for them

[–]dandar46002 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Well whatever you do, don't let it derail you getting that CPA. Having said that, accounting is hell on quality of living. The busy season is an excuse to have you work 80 hours per week including weekends with no overtime pay. I got my accounting degree but didn't pursue a job in that field. I'm doing something completely unrelated in another field and I'm getting paid $20K over what guys with CPA get on average. Once you do have your CPA, you may want to look into a law school. A tax lawyer with CPA can make a killing...once he is able to get a job that is. Use school to make connections as connections is what gets you a job, not the paper your school gives you. Yeah, being in school till you're 28 doesn't sound very appealing but living at home you have no expenses so no worries.

I did live at home till I got married at 26 so what you're doing is completely fine. What's she's doing is called exploring her options. You better believe that she knows those guys want to get into her pants. Yet she still goes to hang out with them without you. Meaning she is there to see what they are willing to offer her or at least her ditching you for them is a sign that hanging with them seems more appealing than hanging with you. It's even worse given that you do not like those people and she knows it but simply doesn't give a fuck.

My question is what would you do in my shoes about her attending the BBQ

Is this a one off, or does she do this semi regularly? If it's the latter, you're better off just plating her. She is looking for something else, someone better to come along and you are the safe bet she settling on. What you're doing now is perfect. You're letting her hamster run wild and she's blaming herself. If you fought her, you would be the bad guy, the controlling loser. What you're displaying by not saying anything is a higher value and willingness to get rid of her if she misbehaves. She will think twice about ditching you for them again.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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