TLDR: Lift, Always, Never Stop
This is long, but hopefully it can have a good lesson, never stop lifting.
I had a realization. It centered around remembering a time when I was the clear leader of our marriage, I was in close to the best shape of my life, was playful and fun, yet serious when needed, was able to provide good beta from an alpha frame, and just generally was well on my way to being the best version of myself possible. Half of the items in my sexual highlight real are from those few short months when everything was working perfectly. I routinely got random IOIs, I was outgoing and charismatic, killing it at work and at home. Obviously it didn't last, which is why I'm here now, but I've finally seen the vision I need to get back to.
Those few short months were the result of a similar journey to the one I'm on now. I spent hundreds, maybe even thousands of dollars on reading materials, programs, etc. I spent thousands on a gym membership and personal trainer sessions. All of this was before I got "there." It probably took me a year to get to the start of those few short months of bliss, and I remember it was a hard journey. It was work. Everyday I had to work at bringing positivity, playfulness, fun in the face of negativity, sullenness, boredom, you name it.
Come home from work to a crisis, I had to deal with it and not be negative. Wife in a bitchy mood, deal with it in an OI/Not Butt hurt/Positive manner. There were days I thought will I ever have the life I want? or Why Me? Or When does it stop being so much work? We dealt with death during that time, we dealt with other crisis during that time, our marriage almost didn't survive some of them. I kept up the work though, I steered our ship through those troubled seas. We emerged out the other side.
Then one day it was no longer work. It all started flowing naturally. I didn't have to try to be playful with my wife, I was playful with my wife. I didn't have to focus on being the leader, I was the leader. Those few short months were bliss, I wasn't trying anymore, I was just doing. I didn't get there until I was able to force myself to be all those things, every single day, no matter what life through at me. I realized I couldn't allow myself to have an off day, because every off day was two steps back, instead of one step forward.
The fall wasn't abrupt, wasn't immediate, but looking back I can see it. I let the success get to my head. I was the prize, I was the man. So, I didn't need to go to the gym everyday. I could have more money to spend on x, y and Z if I dropped the personal trainer. Shortly after that I dropped the gym, after all I was in great shape, I could just maintain at home, or through activities. The diet came next. I had achieved my goal, I was where I wanted to be, weighed what i wanted to, had the body I wanted, so I didn't need that anymore either. I could just pay attention to what I ate without tracking it and I'd be okay.
So, here I was again, 70-80 lbs overweight (60 now), relationship nowhere near where I want it, wondering where it all went wrong.
The first thing I did that started down the slippery slope of everything else: I Stopped Lifting
When they say lifting is the most important, start there, they aren't kidding! Just get out there and LIFT!