I keep fantasizing what my life would be like with a man not addicted to porn/hates porn and it makes me resentful. I’m pregnant with our second child but he’s trying to combat his addiction. He topples between saying it’s bad to trying to justify it but he’s says he’s on the path to trying to break the habit. He’s doing it for selfish reasons because I showed him a documentary saying that porn makes you enjoy life less, ruins your dopamine receptors, etc. he’s been damaged by 17 years of constant porn watching to actually see me as a human that has feelings and to quit porn for me.

We have a good relationship otherwise, this is our main struggle. I hate porn because of many past abuse experiences that have left me scarred. I told him before we got married that I don’t want porn in my marriage so I’m a bit furious that he allowed me to marry him despite knowing that he has a problem.

I don’t trust him anymore, a part of my feelings for him have died and I resent him a lot. But we are married, mostly happy and have kids. The porn is making me depressed and it’s not easy to live with. I feel as though if I don’t want to live with it, why do I have to? The porn has also made our sex life unconventional and I wish I had normal intimacy instead of feeling like I’m boring and pressured to do weird shit.

What do I do here?