I grew up as a sheltered guy (immigrant parents) and was homeschooled for high school. When I hit college, I was practically starting out knowing nothing about girls and looking back at it now, some girls were actually into me. I am also a guy who grew into his looks and lifting definitely helped me achieve my maximum potential.

Here I am almost hitting my late 20s and I have a job that pays a reasonable salary (close to six figures), I live in a big city (San Fran) which I plan to move out of soon and my lay count is in the double digits. I have mostly dated and hooked up with girls that were above average looking to hot because I have high standards for women when it comes to looks. On the surface, it would seem like my life is amazing but the fact of the matter is that I feel an empty feeling inside of me. I have come to realize that there is just something about being young and having that pretty looking girl by your arms that you just cannot replicate when you get older. Even now, I feel like having a good looking girl in my life when I was a teenager on my early 20s would mean so much more to me than having many of them in my life right now. I am constantly running a race to make up for lost time as a younger guy that I feel like I can never win and it depresses me.

Rather than getting with women and having sex for pleasure, I do it more for the validation and I am so bitter over it. What's worse is that I have this borderline obsession with "American" girls who I feel were denied to me growing up such as the sorority girl (I have yet to fuck one but I would like to get it over with). Fact of the matter is, I don't even feel that physically attracted to these kinds of girls but a part of me keeps saying that I need go out and fuck as many of them as possible because of how I had no success with them when growing up.

It's like even though I am an adult male right now, a part of me is doing everything to be the frat boy in college. A part of me wants to be told by my friends and people I see on a daily basis that I am the man for fucking hot girls. It is like I have become a validation hungry monster due to the pussy I missed out on growing up. Then I am reminded of the harsh reality, that when you grow as a guy, the same opportunities for getting laid aren't really available to you and neither is the same satisfaction. The whole experience is a cruel joke from society:

  1. When you are a college kid, your SMV is not as high but there are so many good looking girls available to you who are practically in their prime when it comes to looks and yes looks matter more than anything when judging women. You also have a chance to be a part of a nice community of those your age and the satisfaction you feel having a group of cool male friends and pretty girls interested in you, you can NEVER feel that as an adult.

  2. When you are past college and hitting your 30s as a man, your SMV is much higher but there are not nearly as many good looking girls in their prime available to you. Also, you're older now, you're supposed to have gotten the casual sex out of your system in college. Time to "grow up" and start a family or else society makes your life hell.

Maybe things change for me as I get older though it is looking less likely but I just wish there was a way out of my problem. The only way I see out is if I moved near a major college campus and fucked a lot of college girls, mainly sorority girls, but I don't even think that is possible given that I am hitting my late 20s soon.