Is what separates me from this annoying ass LVM I finally shut down today.

Here’s some backstory for y’all before I get to the juicy part.

Summers 2016/17, I lived in Italy. I met this gorgeous fellow there, and he spoke no English. I spoke enough Italian to get by, yet he refused to speak to me in person beyond simple pleasantries, hi, how are you, I’m well, thanks. (I was a horrible pickmeisha back in the day) and would try to push the conversation farther, but he wouldn’t oblige, yet he added me on Facebook and would text me. Even in conversations in groups of other people, he refused to address me directly, always needing a middle man to translate. He would give people messages to tell me, and I would respond in Italian directly to him, and he would respond through a middle man. It was annoying as hell, and when I would ask him why via text, he would just say he didn’t speak English.

Eventually, we ended up hooking up, and even in that encounter, he verbally communicated as minimally as possible, using mostly hand gestures. (Come here, yes, no, stop, etc.) It was mediocre at best, and definitely not my finest moment. (Like I said, major pickmeisha.)

That was three years ago.

He continued to text me periodically, even though I hardly responded, and when I did, he would ask for nudes and that’s all. (I kept him unblocked because he’s hot and I wanted to have his pics to show off the hot guy I met in Italy. Stupid. I know. Not that girl anymore!)

*** juicy part ***

Today, he messaged me again, and I decided to finally shut it down. It’s been a while since his last “hi”, and I’m in a feisty mood today. So, I responded.

Conversation was normal at first, pleasantries, he asked if my boyfriend and I had broken up, we did. I knew where this was going. He then started talking about how he thinks of me all the time. (It’s been three years since I’ve seen him, and I haven’t been back to Europe in that time.) He starts reminiscing about that night, and once again, asking me for nudes. Repeatedly. Specifically.

Finally, I say to him, “either I was quite memorable, or you really don’t get laid very often.” (Forgive me if any of this next part is written awkwardly, I’m translating from italian.)

He says, “what do you think?”

Me: “I think you don’t get laid very often!”

Him: “I get laid plenty. Anyways, send me pictures, I want to imagine it.”

Me: “After three years? And a world away? Isn’t it more fun to have a girl who lives closer? Who you can actually play with?”

Him: “certainly. But send me pics.”

Me: “what’s the point? I can’t touch you! My arms are too short! Just like your dick.”

Him: “what did you say???”

Me: “You are pathetic and desperate. I live thousands of miles away, haven't been to Europe in years and you are the last person I would visit if I went there. You never talked to me when I was there, and all you have to tell me when you text me is disgusting crap about fucking me. At least to me, you are nothing but physicality and you have no personality to back it up. You're the last person I'm interested in fucking, so hold on to the memory of that half-assed blowjob three years ago. It is the last memory you will have of me. Lose my number.”

Him: “wow I didn’t realize you were such a bitch! Bye.”

Me: block

Fucking weirdo. Can’t talk to me in person, but you can ask me for nudes for three years with literally no success. Boy bye. Or should I say, ciaooooo stronzo!