Yea.. so I don't do FR.. until today. Must be menstrating..

u/red-sfpplus had some feelz and baited an argument, so I'm giving my excuse to write this as his fault. :salute

At least I'm in the right sub writing this.

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So last night sex (first mistake) wife says you have really been wanting me lately, you really love me and want me huh? To that I just said yes and kept fucking. I experimented with some you are sexy I like the way you feel, and some other stuff I made up in the moment.. often I was thinking I'm looking forward to reading sex god and so I can have some confidence behind what the hell I'm saying. It was good sex and about 30 minutes which I like. It was after I came home from hanging with my new group I call the NMMNG Group.. (No they are not reading the book or RP, I just call them that)

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I've been following her cycle like a good little RP. She is ovulating, so I've kind of felt like I should have as much sex as I can. Honestly, I'm tired of sex right now. It's been , alot, this week. Not used to this number. And I'm not rejected... Well... yesterday I chickened out. I came home and wanted to have her drop to her knees and suck me off, but I didn't ask. She seemed focused on dinner, work texts and I felt like a drunk captain. I keep looking to see if she recognizes how drunk I am.. not sure why I care, maybe I am just self-concious, but she hasn't shown signs.. probably just means I'm illiterate. Yesterday morning, I coached her through handling the girl scout master which is afraid that wife will start her own troop or usurp her position. I told her how to disarm her, validate her, address her fear and re-affirm her stance of supporting the troop but relieving the scoutmasters load. Scoutmaster replied, "You are amazing". Got some sex out of that. Later, she talked to me about how our daughter wants a tea party, and wife want's to usurp it for her friends to have tea. I laughed and said it's ok because her social circle is more important than our toddlers whims. Then I walked her through her 4 friends and told her how it's important that she make it clear to tell them what she expects out of a friendship and stop trying to build rapport or else they will get bored of you and stop hanging with you like others in the past. She asked a bunch of questions and called me coach, then texted me more questions later. Sounds like she is going to have a good social circle like the one I'm building for myself.

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Last few days as I finished up my antibiotics I have felt like a drunk captain. Just can't really get my shit together. Haven't lifted (problem 1), haven't cleaned much (problem 2), still reading (problem 3). I was looking forward to building my group of male friends so that I can talk to them and not have feelz on the internet(fail) or to my wife. It was a good night at the bar and catching a movie, but it's the first time some of them met so I didn't feel comfortable bitching to a bunch of dudes that were looking for me to lead the social interaction.

I'm looking forward to getting back into lifting, cleaning each day, waking up the kids, teaching them, putting them to bed etc. I've done well with paying off debt, reading alot more, playing with the kids, fixing stuff; but I want to get back to where I was in early February before I got sick with the virus and bacetria thing. My job is good, I am paid well and am doing what I need to get by... but there is so much to learn and I'm leading two teams that require a lot of output these last two weeks. Maybe I'll get some clarity after I finish this next sprint.

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solution: lift, get out my head, lift, clean this shit up, lift, stop reading, lift, and be grateful. ..probably get off reddit too for a while.. maybe even just drop RP until I can LIFT!!!!!!... damn.. fuck it Im going to lift right now.. hell or high water for family or work..