Questions about assertion (WISNIFG)

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March 17, 2019

This off topic it in the sense of sexual strategy but I would consider it on topic in the sense of it being one of the sidebar readings.

WISNIFG has helped me with being assertive and getting what I want. The problem I’m dealing with is not knowing when someone really can’t help me out when I’m trying to assert my needs. Or if they are just trying to avoid it.

For example in the book it talks about sticking to the point and fogging. “I understand but I want x” until they help you. But I’ve found trying to negotiate, the lowering of a phone bill for instance. They may say they can’t help me. But can they? How low can they really go?

Or I had an issue with a flight and the company told me they couldn’t help I had to change it thorough another company. And then they company told me the same thing. I am I supposed to when someone is being stubborn or if they really can help me if I keep on it.

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Title Questions about assertion (WISNIFG)
Author Bulk_king11
Upvotes 10
Comments 13
Date 17 March 2019 05:15 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
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[–]RPeed5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Generally in customer service: anyone can do anything at any time.

But you do need to pick your battles or you will be exhausted.

If it is important to you, just do some basic fact checking before you get into these situations: which company has the obligation/duty of care, google benchmark pricing etc. Then stick to your guns.

Never Split the Difference is a popular book on negotiating. You might want to check it out.

[–]canooboy3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go social, but publicly......

I had a leaking aquarium with a lifetime warranty that was not worth a whole lot... 30 bucks or so...

Long story short....

Not happy with the store's policy, so I calmly stated that I would be standing outside their store until closing, telling every customer that walked in, that XYZ aquarium sales did not stand behind their product... and did they really want that ??

5 minutes later... voila... new aquarium !!!

[–]Bulk_king11[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’ve read it. Loved the book. For instance. I paid off a credit card. In full with a savings account. Apparently you were allowed to use a savings so they Returned the payment and charged a fee I then paid it all in full the next day. And it went through but the fee still stayed. So I was asking them to wave the fee and they said it was valid. Which maybe so but I fucking just paid them 2 grand the next day in full they couldn’t be lenient?

So I kept fogging and all I got was transferred and put on hold for an hour. Till I had better shit to do.

[–]RPeed3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Face to face is best but I would much rather argue charges via email than phone. Much easier face to face as few people challenge more than 2 x “no’s”. So a lot of people fall apart at the third.

But there is no pressure on a phone system. That’s why companies use it. Very hard to fight a hold signal.

Push for an email address and/or use voilanorbert and LinkedIn to start cc’ing the whole company. Get a reply and then start putting media outlets in cc with a click bait subject “Dear AMEX why do you insist on persecuting minorities” or whatever.

This is low barrier chaos you can have some fun with. Fuck credit card charges.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

Patience , repetition... then escalation. Repeat ad infinitim. And nowadays...take to social media.

[–]Bulk_king11[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Are you able to give me an example of what you mean here?

[–]RPeed1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Check out the front page of reddit: there’s almost always a “X tried to charge me Y for Z (as per their terms) facist bastards, right? RIGHT?”, gilded x 4, thousands of upvoted.

[–]Bulk_king11[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

The social media part I get. I was talking more about the first part

[–]RPeed0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Email the dude, then the team leader, then the manager, then the director, then the VP, then the COO. Use LinkedIn. Google “find email addresses” or just type [email protected]. That captures all the first points.

Act like a crazy. 100% of corporations will pay out to loose cannons who won’t stop emailing.

Don’t waste your time phoning call centers to listen to a multiple choice script. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

[–]Bulk_king11[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Can’t they just ignore me?

[–]RPeed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes but they probably won’t. Most people have a limited number of “no’s”. This is all in WISNIFG!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Patience as in don't get flustered on the phone/in person and keep your goal in mind. Never let someone out-wait or frustrate you. Make sure you'll have enough time to devote to whatever you are negotiating so time constraints work for you.

Repetition as in don't get side tracked. If you want X for Y price , don't let option Q throw you off your mark. Classic example is how car dealerships negotiate on price using your trade ins, monthly payments, fees. options you don't care about etc.

Escalation. "I appreciate you can't (won't) do anything further in regards to this, get your supervisor/manager so I don't take any more of your time". Look at lifehacker and consumerist , specifically ways others have gotten what they wanted. I think over time it's tougher to EECP (executive email carpet bomb... ie try to cut to the TOP , the owners and managers but getting their personal email info).

And when all else fails tell everyone you know if you've been screwed or gotten a raw deal and post it on every social outlet you have an account for. Google reviews, Amazon review, Yelp, reddit whatever is appropriate.

[–]RedWeaponX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One thing to keep in mind that I found in my second read of WISNIFG is not confusing being assertive with always getting what you want but rather to uphold your self-respect. The book says that the point of assertive behavior is not to guarantee you get what you want (e.g. your customer service problem), but to make you feel like didn't get pushed around. Most people are too scared to even say that a product/service didn't meet their needs or expectations.

Perhaps you're approaching assertiveness from the POV that it will force the other party to do what you want but that is not the case. Often it is asserting that you're unhappy and if the other party is not inclined to do anything about that, then you have your answer - you post your review, you make sure they are not your preferred vendor the next time you make a buying decision.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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