Set up date, "she feels controlled"

RedLegendx · 2019-03-19T06:30:37+00:00

I mean, you don’t just tell her to be somewhere, you don’t own the girl.

Should have just been like: “hey, I’m gonna be at such and such, I’d like to see you, you should come by.”

Rather than: “Be at such and such.”

Like... what are you doing dude?

thatbadrogue2 · 2019-03-19T08:10:16+00:00

she's not the type, simple. You either conform or you find another. Directing her to a place is different than demanding she be at said place. "I'm eating dinner at X at 8 pm, if you want me to have them bring two menus I'm not against it" "I'm getting drinks at Y somewhere in the afternoon probably, you in?" lowkey though once you get her under your sheets you BEST believe she's the type that wants to be demanded.

Blackhawk2479 · 2019-03-19T08:17:57+00:00

Your approach would be fine with some girls, others not so much.

You played the “don’t you think I should have an opinion?” Shittest well, but should’ve toned it down a bit from that point onwards.

Yes, girls like to be led, but sometimes they prefer to not realise that is what is happening - at least until you’re in the bedroom.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2019-03-19T10:30:39+00:00

Who knows. Maybe she's got some kind of random rom-com movie shit floating in her head where the protagonist has to wrangle, chase, plead with her, and do some real dancing monkey-type shit for the sake of dragging the plot along. Whatever. Women are fickle.

Remember that tone is more important than what you say in particular. In the way you wrote it here sounded like you're an ER doctor barking orders to the trauma nurses. It wouldn't hurt to add just a little personal context. "Hey, I'm not doing anything tomorrow morning. Why don't you come over to bar XYZ at 10?"

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-03-19T10:49:12+00:00

Try making requests, not demands. You don't want to go full retard, and be like 'Hey, will you be available at whatever time'. You're getting the overall vibe - you're in control. However, you need a little adjustment.

As people have said, the invite to 'something you're already doing' is good. Or something like 'I'll be free at **** o'clock and feel like doing ***. You in?' Presents your frame, and gives her a choice to enter it.

What you've done will work on some, but to others it can come of as needy. Try the vibe that you're inviting her, but don't give a fuck if she comes or not.

Once you fuck, things can be a little different.

McCarthyCohn24 · 2019-03-19T14:00:30+00:00

Flake and go radio silent for 7-10 days then re-engage like nothing happened

Title	Set up date, "she feels controlled"
Author	_SnNNeKerz
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	March 19, 2019 6:26 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/b2tw1v/set_up_date_she_feels_controlled/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/set-up-date-she-feels-controlled.222522 https://theredarchive.com/post/222522

Comments