How to handle 50/50 on first 'dinner' date?

RedPillLawyer · 2014-10-07T13:05:39+00:00

Why should you have to pay for her company? Shouldn't she have to pay for yours?

Three points to this:

1) If she's attracted to you enough and you've established and maintained your AF through consistent frame control and by passing her shit tests, she won't give a fuck whether you pay, she pays, or you go dutch.

2) I typically don't ever take a plate to a restaurant that is out of their budget unless it's on a very special occasion, and definitely not unless I'm already fucking them. If there's a huge disparity in income and you do this, there's a tacit expectation that you are to pay and also an underlying message that you are 'treating' her. Punish swiftly, reward sparingly.

3) Why are you listening to what girls say? Listening to a girl try to explain her behaviors or expectations is like listening to a five year old explain how a car works. Neither knows the how or why, though both the child and the girl think they have a pretty firm grasp on it.

EDIT: This belongs in asktrp

JP_Whoregan · 2014-10-07T13:28:12+00:00

I told my female 'friends' that I would never foot the entire bill on the first date and they were AGHAST! "I would never go on a second date with a guy that didn't foot the bill" etc.

Well, as a mechanic would say as he looks under the hood of your car,

"There's your problem".

Never, ever, ever ask female "friends" how to behave on dates. That's like asking a fish for tips on how to catch other fish. You ask the fisherman. IMHO, "dinner dates" went out the window YEARS ago. They wanted their independence, they got it. Don't pay for dinners, don't pay for extravagant "event" dates. The juice isn't worth the squeeze. Paying for a girl's dinner will put you squarely in the "beta provider" box in a woman's mind, and you'll be lucky to get some boring missionary by the 7th date because "she's not like that anymore and you're special and you might be the one so she's not gonna give it up easy" like she did for all of the Alpha cads she's been fucking for the last 10 years.

TheOneThatSaysBMF · 2014-10-07T13:25:31+00:00

My rules as it applies to early dating:

1) Dinner dates are out until we're fucking.

2) Coffee dates, I NEVER pay for.

3) If we're having drinks, I pay for mine and she pays for hers.

I'm known for never having cash on me. I pay for everything with a debit card. For dates involving more than coffee, I'll make sure I have enough cash on hand to let the chick put it on her card and I give her the cash for my portion plus tip. More often than not the chick will offer to pay. If she doesn't offer up, I never pay first. I'll tell her "You get this one, I'll get the next one". You want to establish righ off the bat that you're not in the business of buying chicks drinks, especially chicks you aren't fucking yet.

Algermas · 2014-10-07T14:13:06+00:00

I told my female 'friends' that I would never foot the entire bill on the first date and they were AGHAST! "I would never go on a second date with a guy that didn't foot the bill" etc.

Call them out for the blatant prostitutes that they are, I've done it before and will do it again if the situation calls for it.

I pay for female companionship in one circumstance and one circumstance only: at a brothel.

tombreck2 · 2014-10-07T13:17:00+00:00

Don't do dinner dates ever they are played out and boring. I've been hanging out with a girl for 8 months now and I have not taken her out to more than drinks.

If you are fun to hang out with then the girl won't care what the date is

yeahweewee · 2014-10-07T13:23:38+00:00

if a girl tells you its a bad idea its probably a good one

she probably wouldn't go on a second date with a guy that did foot bill anyways

Mightaswellmakeone · 2014-10-07T13:53:35+00:00

I get your question. The principle of, never pay the entire bill makes sense. Sometimes applying it in the real world is tricky.

When needed, I would look at the bill while still talking, calculate in my head, then say "you got 20 dollars"? Or whatever half of the bill turned out to be. I just throw out a casual assume the answer type of question similar to when I'm eating with one of my guy friends.

tindermaster1986 · 2014-10-07T17:39:10+00:00

Back when I tried online dating, some girl on OkCupid had a profile in which she mentioned, buried amidst all her random drivel, taking her out for the food that she can't afford.

I finally got her to go out on a date when I mentioned a wine and tapas place next to my home. She's clearly underweight and maybe a 5 or 6 IRL (looked like an 8 in her pics). She was "starving," but the wait for this fancy place was 30 minutes expected. I offered to cook her a fancy meal at my place instead, to which she demurred ("maybe" she feared a new guy, tho she did come over afterwards). I had a lil wine and already had dinner, but she ate the fancy oysters aplenty and got drunk (4' 9" girl). I offered to pay for the tab, tho my share was less than 1/3rd, and she perfunctorily offered to pay for her part. I paid the whole tab. She comes back to my place and passes out in my bed. I just go downstairs to work on a paper, not wanting to deal with any false impressions or accusations, and she eventually leaves at 1 AM, saying she wants to meet up again later in the week. Text her if she safely made it home the next day. She said she did, and I never heard from her again. Saw her on OkCupid daily thereafter (oh, she was moving to a different state in a few weeks, too. Online Profile: "Looking for a long-term relationship.")

TL;DR: Saw a moocher from a mile away and paid for her alcoholism and meal. Never heard from her again. She's still on OkCupid daily.

Wargame4life · 2014-10-07T13:56:48+00:00

Any of the girls i have dated that i actually liked and took it further i paid on the first date and they paid on the second, they always offered and wouldn't let me pay for the 2nd date.

But i am in the UK so things are slightly different here, certainly i have dated a woman who was " all about about her" and it soon becomes bothersome and you simply dismiss them, after a while.

I have been rather fortunate in that the girls I get with are pretty reasonable and fair overall, a few monsters here and there ( personality wise) but i would rather a woman does insist on me paying every time so that i can cut and run ( from seeing her romantically not the restaurant) rather than pretend to be reasonable and then be entitled on "bigger issues"

If a woman expects me to pander to her every need at my expense without giving back, she is no woman of mine.

MachiavellianRed · 2014-10-07T14:45:34+00:00

/r/asktrp is where this belongs.

Title	How to handle 50/50 on first 'dinner' date?
Author	fairplayer1066
Upvotes	4
Comments	18
Date	October 7, 2014 12:50 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2ijz94/how_to_handle_5050_on_first_dinner_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/how-to-handle-5050-on-first-dinner-date.22524 https://theredarchive.com/post/22524

Comments