Man Who Treats Women With Respect Asked What His Secret Is | The Onion

Archwinger · 2014-03-11T13:54:16+00:00

I talked respectfully to women all the time, asked about their weekends, made small talk, listened about their problems, commented politely, and so on. The women all liked me.

I never had sex with any of them. They wouldn't even date me. Not even once. They were too busy fucking assholes outside of relationships, who didn't have time to ask them stupid questions about their weekends, because those assholes were too busy fucking other women to make conversation. Half the problems they complained to me about were the assholes they were fucking.

I didn't get it. I was a dumb kid. A very respectful, dumb kid. The women liked me fine during the day, but from 5:PM on Friday until 8:AM on Monday, they didn't have three seconds to return a text message or a phone call. Their hands and mouths were too full of asshole dick. The guys weren't really assholes, of course. I just didn't understand how different this asshole was compared to the last one some girl complained about. And some people just won't be attracted to me and will be attracted to other guys -- nothing I can do about that. Just keep being my polite, respectful self and I'll get mine one day!

If you want a nice little chat, and maybe a friend if you're lucky, sure, be respectful and ask girls about their weekends. If you're the kind of guy who fucks a different girl's brains out routinely, they'll be asking about your weekend, and you'll be too busy to answer.

Beardsman2 · 2014-03-11T10:50:54+00:00

Women want to fuck the men they treat with respect. Not the men who treat them with respect.

BroseppeVerdi · 2014-03-11T13:03:55+00:00

Alternative title: "How to get friend-zoned like a champion"

ss_camaro · 2014-03-11T14:14:08+00:00

Funniest thing I read all day.

FNG_USMC · 2014-03-11T04:35:19+00:00

Written by a beta or a feminist.

_social_caterpillar · 2014-03-11T13:43:19+00:00

I don't see the humor in this post. What are they parodying?

[deleted] · 2014-03-11T12:56:37+00:00

The thing with the Onion is that this reads like different satire depending on who you are. I see it as a mockery of the feminist viewpoint but feminists are going to see a huge white knight.

mcflash1294 · 2014-03-11T04:59:00+00:00

It's making fun of the feminist belief that men are incapable of respecting women. Hats off to The Onion for another quality piece

Title	Man Who Treats Women With Respect Asked What His Secret Is \| The Onion
Author	FateCrossing
Upvotes	24
Comments	9
Date	March 11, 2014 12:53 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/203izw/man_who_treats_women_with_respect_asked_what_his/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/man-who-treats-women-with-respect-asked-what-his.230837 https://theredarchive.com/post/230837

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