Being alpha doesn’t necessarily mean being popular

SoftHarem · 2013-11-04T18:39:40+00:00

Sigma. Alpha with women but generally a loner who is only liked by a select few, and actively keeps it that way.

ThomasC123 · 2013-11-04T16:49:33+00:00

As an introvert, I have to agree with this strongly, I've always felt reassured that I'm still up to standard despite not being one of the popular guys.

nillotampoco · 2013-11-05T01:32:55+00:00

Excellent post, I like the distinction between extroverted and alpha I'm seeing being made on this sub, all alphas don't have to be extremely extroverted those are the only one's you notice easily.

Phaint · 2013-11-04T16:07:49+00:00

I think I fall into that category - I don't have an expansive group of friends, by choice - I don't even go out all that often (I probably should, even just to practice my game). I hold myself well, and communicate like an alpha, which means I get the respect I want from the men.

Acting like an alpha to women also gets me noticed, doubly so because they notice when I'm there, and when I'm gone, so I get a lot of women commenting on how 'mysterious' I am (I think practically every girl I've slept with has said this in some form or another, this may also be due to the fact that I have a naturally dark/aloof frame).

I'll be saving this to read later.

Furbowl · 2013-11-04T22:36:43+00:00

The use of the word "alpha male" in Red Pill literature is unclear. It's technical meaning is "individual with the highest social rank". But I don't think that fits the common usage, given the number of women who hook up with tattooed badboy thug criminals. Women guards in prisons routinely fall for inmates, by definition at the bottom of the social order.

I think whether a woman sees you as alpha, beta or omega is entirely subjective, and can vary from one evening to another. Here's how you can tell what category a woman places you in:

If you walk up to her, and she turns away and starts texting, or otherwise makes it plain that you are not welcome to even speak with her, she sees you as omega. Don't feel bad; women put at least 70% of men in this category.

If you walk up to her, and she starts asking you to do something for her, you are beta, because providing goods and services is the purpose of the beta male. Many men are fooled when a woman says something like "Have you seen that new movie? I'd like to see it" or "A latte would be really good right now" and they think it indicates some sexual interest. Nope. Just goods and services provided free.

When a woman sees you as alpha, it's easy to tell - she wants sex now. Right now. For example, you are sitting in your bachelor apartment on a Saturday afternoon. The doorbell rings, and it's an attractive co-worker you have never seen outside the office, but you've flirted with her. She walks in and sits next to you on your sofa. After a minute or two, she slides over and puts her hand on your thigh and sticks her tongue down your throat.

Alpha. And you guys who think that never happens - it happens.

[deleted] · 2013-11-05T02:03:57+00:00

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unsungman · 2013-11-05T05:01:00+00:00

"Don’t be dependent on other people for your validation, it makes you weak. Being alpha and being perceived as alpha are not the same thing, one is a sense of self – the other is the power of popularity."

+1.

Killing your need for validation is key. Validation seeking is the domain of the social media whore and the needy attention seeker. Subconsciously, I think everyone wants to be recognized and validated so it's an understandable desire.

However, I think that's where "inner game" should come in to play. I think the starting point of "inner game" should be killing your need for validation. We all want validation to affirm our value and self worth...or at least our "perception" of what we think we're worth.

Once you kill your need for validation you should learn to take ownership of your own progress. You'll get to the point where you don't need validation from others to prove your value, self worth, and all other traits that make one "alpha." All you should need to do is take a look in the mirror and see whether or not you're improving and creating value (and most importantly what you can do better).

When you truly acknowledge that you "own your own miles" and that your value is the result of your own efforts and commitment to personal evolution (versus someone's lip service and/or kind words)...self-confidence ought to take the place of that "need" for validation you've killed and threw to the wayside.

And that's what it all comes down to...grounded self-confidence that others can sense but nonetheless can only come from within.

Others can sense that the guy in IllimitableMan's anecdote desires that "pat on the back" of validation...hence his histrionic performances (as crowd pleasing as they may be). Unfortunately, "ambiguous alphaesque" types like that frequently do get that validation. That's why they're "popular." So much so that they really believe they're the boss.

But the real motherfucker is the guy who doesn't need that pat on the back. The real motherfucker is the guy who doesn't even process validation if it's thrown his way. When validated, he responds with confident humility.

"Thanks but I know I could have done X, Y, Z better. Next time I'll get it."

Validation from other women is the hardest shit test IMO (even if some don't consider it a shit test). A woman's validation means nothing to me...because what she thinks is "good" already isn't good enough for me. Disregarding a woman's validation (even kindly with a "humble yet self-confident" reply) is critical.

She knows your "value" because she's telling you via validation. However, if you're a woman, I don't care how much you know until I know how much you care. Once a man communicates that (coyly of course), chances are she'll actually show how much she cares by either putting moves on you or being receptive to the moves you put on her.

Anyways, I know I can be long-winded...but good post. Icing validation is one those things I really harp on.

magicalbird · 2013-11-04T18:38:10+00:00

Sounds similar to Heartiste's Renegade alpha

thewrightstuff88 · 2013-11-05T14:07:18+00:00

this is good but merely an example of an extroverted beta, where is the example of the introverted alpha?

this is basically saying, if there are extroverted betas, then there MUST be introverted alphas. inferring doesn't do me any good and I would rather see evidence on an introverted alpha (an alpha who isn't popular, which the title implies).

I'm sounding like a dick because I was expecting to read about an unpopular alpha

[deleted] · 2013-11-06T04:47:58+00:00

Yup. I'd almost goes as far as to say that any true alpha will almost always have as many enemies as they do friends. Afterall, humans tend to hate those who are successful, even more so when speaking of sexual success.

Although there are occassionally alpha males with extremely profound charisma, that people find difficult to hate despite having every reason to. This isn't a guy that's at the center of attention though, he's usually off to the side, observing, and recognizes well the power that lies in granting power and validation to others.

Invincibull · 2013-11-05T04:50:27+00:00

Upon this a question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved? It may be answered that one should wish to be both, but, because it is difficult to unite them in one person, is much safer to be feared than loved, when, of the two, either must be dispensed with. Because this is to be asserted in general of men, that they are ungrateful, fickle, false, cowardly, covetous, and as long as you succeed they are yours entirely; they will offer you their blood, property, life and children, as is said above, when the need is far distant; but when it approaches they turn against you. And that prince who, relying entirely on their promises, has neglected other precautions, is ruined; because friendships that are obtained by payments, and not by greatness or nobility of mind, may indeed be earned, but they are not secured, and in time of need cannot be relied upon; and men have less scruple in offending one who is beloved than one who is feared, for love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails.

Niccolo Machiavelli, The Prince

[deleted] · 2013-11-04T23:30:52+00:00

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Title	Being alpha doesn’t necessarily mean being popular
Author	IllimitableMan
Upvotes	26
Comments	21
Date	November 4, 2013 3:32 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1pvnfa/being_alpha_doesnt_necessarily_mean_being_popular/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/being-alpha-doesnt-necessarily-mean-being-popular.232611 https://theredarchive.com/post/232611

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