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[–]Ronfar 20 points21 points22 points 13 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Women aren’t built for having loads of sex like men are. There’s a hormone called oxytocin which is known as the bonding hormone. It’s the hormone that is released when a mother gives birth and it creates a strong bond between her and her child. It’s also released during sex, so both partners develop a bond between each other. While mens bodies release oxytocin during intercourse, it’s much smaller compared to the amount women's releases.
So every time a girl sleeps with a guy that she never sees again, she's forming a bond, then breaking it, forming a bond, then breaking it, forming a bond, then breaking it and so on... This will causes emotional damage and will eventually make her bitter and unable to form committed relationships later on in life.
More on oxytocin here
[–]Neocruiser 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good point. I am with you, genetic basis play a role in this part
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Can you look it up somewhere whether there is a significant difference in oxytocin release in whether a woman actually enjoy the intercourse or not, has orgasm or not? I always had this pet theory based on real life experiences that women who have large numbers of sex partners but did not enjoy it (they just used it as a way to try buy emotional commitment or validation from the guy) can still commit right, as I saw that. If intercourses that were more like boring drudgery do not release much of this chemical I may be right on this.
[–]Ronfar 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
When you're sexually aroused or excited, oxytocin levels increase in your brain significantly — a primary factor for bringing about an orgasm. And during the orgasm itself, the brain is flooded with oxytocin — a possible explanation for why (some) couples like to cuddle after.
SOURCE
Also these might be of interest:
A relationship between oxytocin and anxiety of romantic attachment
Plasma oxytocin increases in the human sexual response
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Thanks this seems to support what I thought although not like a definitive proof, but leaning in that direction. I.e. what matters is not number of sex partners but number of sex partners with whom the woman had orgasm with or enjoyed it greatly.
[–]Ronfar 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
So say if you have 2 women who have had 10 one-night-stands:
While the woman who orgasmed with all her affairs would of enjoyed them more, she has developed a stronger oxytocin-induced bond with those men then the women who didn't orgasm at all. So wouldn't the woman who orgasmed be doing more damage to her ability to bond?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
I think yes. Furthermore look at the causes.
The one who did orgasm did so because she went with sexy men who aroused her and made her come. Thus, she was attractive enough to get those men. Thus, she was most likely that good looking party girl PUAs like to talk about. And this is the type who does not commit usually, right?
The second one did not orgasm because the men were not that sexy to begin with. She did not go with them because she felt arousal. It is more like she desperately tried to buy attention and love with sex. So probably she is not very attractive. And that checks out too, not very attractive women are more loyal. This is the type PUAs simply don't notice hence do not talk about hence get to left out from generalizations.
Again I think a whole lot of this what we discuss on this subreddit is that attractive women will cheat, period, attractive ones are not marriage material period, marriage if you want one should not be based on romantic sexual feelings but on reproduction period, there is too much running around in circles making it more complicated than necessary.
I mean a woman with a low number of sex partners or virgin equals unattractive because why the fuck would a woman make herself attractive with gym, diet, sunbed, hair dye, make up, clothes and all that if she did not want to get a sexual harvest out of it? People esp. women aren't just born attractive, they are made with hard work.
So I think we just need to simplify these things more.
[–]Ronfar 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I thought of the women in my thought-experiment as identical in every regard except for whether they orgasmed or not. But I get where you are coming from.
If you look at it another way: woman A (who orgasmed) and woman B (who didn't orgasmed) are of identical level of attractiveness. Woman A could just be the very party-girl, cock-carousel riding, alpha-male hunting person you talk of. Woman B could just be a prostitute who only has sex for money and fakes her orgasms. Woman B probably doesn't develop the same level of bond woman A does.
But I think personalities and life choices are irrelevant anyway, so lets not complicate it.
Again I think a whole lot of this what we discuss on this subreddit is that attractive women will cheat, period, attractive ones are not marriage material period
I disagree. It's not attractiveness per se that makes her an unmarriageable cheater, it's the available amount of options she has and a society that allows for free, unchained hypergamy that allows it. There's still plenty of countries you can go, where attractive woman are still marriage and mother material. But those countries have a culture and/or economic condition that keeps woman's innate hypergamy in check. One example of that is a culture of heavy slut-shaming.
marriage if you want one should not be based on romantic sexual feelings but on reproduction period
Agreed. Marriages fail so much these days because they're solely because off emotions.
Why would a woman who a virgin or has a low notch-count be unattractive? Not all woman are gonna slut themselves out just because they're attractive... And you know woman don't just make themselves attractive for men, they do it for each other as well.
Plus you shouldn't be going gym and watching your diet solely because of your appearance anyway! It's for your own health benefit.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's not attractiveness per se that makes her an unmarriageable cheater, it's the available amount of options she has and a society that allows for free, unchained hypergamy that allows it.
OK, half-agreed. There is too much validation, even worship, to little limits, too few reminders of the wall leading to a too big ego and a little princess syndrome. But the other half is that attractiveness is a lot of work and usually there is a reason to invest that work.
I should not have mentioned the gym and diet part as it is misleading. Focus on the make up and suchlike part.
I know that there are both men and women out there who have a, how to put it, "simple no-nonsense" attitude to attractive looks meaning have a good body and the rest does not matter much. I had a period like this too. But ultimately I dropped it as it was not sophisticated and looking at e.g. clubs most people dropped that view too. Looking at the average club I don't see this. I see girls with fantastic hair, make-up and clothes, and pretty average bodies which are carefully and cleverly part hidden, part shown, part augmented by clever clothing. Sure, too fat never really works, but withing the average it does.
Same for men. Being roughly withing the average weight, sporting a good tan, gelled hair, expensive sunglasses, that expensive Devergo shirt open to the belly and showing off a tiger tooth worn on a leather strap around the neck, and a confident demeanor to match it frankly few women will look hard into figuring how big are the pecs under that shirt.
Maybe it depends on culture and subculture, I don't know. But the view that "body matters mostly in looks because everything else will come off or get messy sooner or later" while more profound than these superficial things and worths some respect, was in my experience fairly rare for both sexes.
I know that for example in America there may be certain strains or subcultures who do not really think like this for example Peggy Bundy in Married with Children was supposed to be ugly. Why? Great hair, great make-up, great clothes, not too fat either so I did not understand why. Just old of course but being the mom of two teens that is normal.
[–]Ronfar 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I forgot to give an example about who options being more relevant then attractiveness, when it comes to sluttyness or marriageability:
Say you have a group of 5 girls, all of 'equal' level of attractiveness and there in with a group of 5 guys. Now if you move those 5 girls out of that group of guys and into another group of 30 guys, those 5 girls are not only going to be perceived to be more attractive within the new group of guys, but the girls' options will be far greater. What this will result in of course, is the girls being able to sleep around more and trade 'up' far more easily/be more hypergamous.
I think Roosh goes into this better in his post: The Number One Corrupter Of Women
But the other half is that attractiveness is a lot of work and usually there is a reason to invest that work.
What about women who have a lot of natural beauty? The work you usually put in depends how attractive you are in the first place.
I think you're starting to split attractiveness up into separate areas (like face & body), which leads to a discussion on what makes someone attractive. I just mean the overall attractiveness of a person, regardless of facial beauty, body constitution, dress-sense, confidence etc.
On different cultures when it comes to dating, you should read Roosh again: The Destructive Merger Of Dating Choice & American Culture
In-fact if you're not familiar with Roosh V at all, you should read through his blog to get a perspective on what dating life is like outside the Anglosphere.
[–]wheres_the_k -3 points-2 points-1 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oxytocin is released in both men and women. I won't get into quantities or effect because I know nothing about either.
[–]Ronfar 8 points9 points10 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I did mention they do:
While mens bodies release oxytocin during intercourse, it’s much smaller compared to the amount women's releases.
I saw a scientific paper somewhere with data comparing the levels between men & women but I can't find it ATM...
[–]Endorsed Contributor30303030303030 21 points22 points23 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
For every woman lurking and wondering why family orientated men, who would like nothing else than have a wife and children, are bitter towards ~28+ "reformed sluts":
all they are receiving are the left overs after a myriad of men have had their way with her. All that’s left of her is the cynical pump and dump memories and a last few desperate attempts to avoid spinsterhood. Don’t be that guy.
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 13 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Take advantage of these women ALL YOU WANT. Give 'em NO commitment though or you're gonna get fried for all you're worth. Is that what you want? For all the work you did to go down the shitter simply because you didn't just say no?
P.S We hear a lot about who wins in the end, nice guys or bad boys. The bad boy's one story, the nice guy's another. Just because the latter becomes well-off doesn't mean he'll automatically take care of every woman he dates. Most likely those bad experiences with women have soured him and he'll think women are shit and treat them all like throw-away wash-cloths once he gets the keys to his empire. Because for most nice guys it's like "ok , I see how it is... You wait until I get my money... I'm gonna be a fucking bastard when I get mine!" For some men, this rotten behavior that women bestow upon them becomes a fuel that pushes them to be great.
And it sure as hell has done wonders for me. Why can't a man be a greedy opportunist too just like these glorified whores are?
[–]redpillarofdoom 10 points11 points12 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Give 'em NO commitment
This. Men are giving up their commitment far too easily. There's no reason to "commit" to a girl just because you're fucking her. The whole idea of a "girlfriend" is ridiculous anyway, it just means you're exclusively fucking her until someone better comes along.
[–]ChaoticParadox 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'll never commit to a woman ever again. They have proven to me time and again that none of them are worth the effort. Fuck'm and forget'm.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I'll give that post a few days before someone blows up about it. A lot of bitter medicine there.
[–]MelbUniBlog2 points 13 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Haha, well.. a lot of the posts on there are like that. Harsh reality.
[–]SystemHalifax 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As they should be!
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Watch Sunset Boulevard. The 1950 movie. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunset_Boulevard_(film)
[+][deleted] 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Awwww, 'dose poor wimminz being fooled and ravaged by dastardly manbearpigs...
Bah.
"Take advantage of"? That's a red herring if I ever saw one. You write about them as if they've got no agency and aren't even people.
Begone, white knight.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think you're missing the point of everything here..
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[–]Ronfar 20 points21 points22 points (11 children) | Copy Link
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[–]wheres_the_k -3 points-2 points-1 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Ronfar 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed Contributor30303030303030 21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]redpillarofdoom 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]MelbUniBlog2 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SystemHalifax 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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