New plate is hitting me with a barrage of Comfort Tests... How should I respond?

VasiliyZaitzev · 2019-04-29T16:30:23+00:00

"I like you. Let's see where it goes."

[deleted] · 2019-04-29T16:59:01+00:00

Keep letting her hamster run. Better for her to chase than you.

just say I like you, but you don't like to rush into anything.

"The one who invests more in a relationship is the one who will care the most"

GisforJumping · 2019-04-29T21:49:29+00:00

You already put an expiration date on the relationship when you said “have fun”. Any response or attitude she has from here on in is tempered by this expectation, and a withdrawal of emotional vulnerability. Next time tell her what she wants to hear, as Vassiliy hit the nail on the head.

Str8SavaJ · 2019-04-29T20:23:13+00:00

Just use a woman's line back at her. "I don't want to ruin what we have"

You could also tell her. My experience with committed monogamous relationships has been less than desirable, and seem to degrade into conflict and power struggle. I don't want that to happen to us. While I like the idea of a relationship, I'm not confident that it is possible within society today. If things naturally lead there cool, if not, cool.

Mildly_Sociopathic · 2019-04-29T16:45:11+00:00

"Yep, I am a God Guy."

blackpillmaxxing · 2019-04-29T15:58:01+00:00

just ignore her and then hit her up when you're ready to hangout again

EvolvedVirus · 2019-04-30T04:45:54+00:00

Well if it's a plate that you won't have feelings for then you'll need to do some tricky replies like saying you like them but aren't sure yet etc.

If it's someone you DO want to LTR later, then it might make sense to add some more worms on your steel hook. She may be asking you to clarify something and anything other than a straight answer might be a deal breaker. But you also can't give a straight up "yes I do want to take this further" kinda easy-mode answer because then she will think "oh it's in the bag."

An ambiguous answer that is hinting at something without any guarantees is best.

Aptote · 2019-04-30T07:22:28+00:00

disclaimer: this is outside my aoe (area of expertise)

she's fishing for level of commitment because that's what women want from men (a good sign that she values you)

seems to me like you did ok, on your feet in the moment

i'll concur with uncle vas's reply, i'm filing that away for future use, should the need ever arise

Gilgs · 2019-04-30T08:52:09+00:00

frootloopzs · 2019-04-29T18:45:11+00:00

Nah I think it’s mature of her to clarify the terms of your relationship. This way nobody gets their feelings hurt. Just be 100% upfront.

Str8SavaJ · 2019-04-29T20:53:06+00:00

thats not a comfort test asshole, thats female nature. She's 100% right about everything she said. she's starting to like you and is afraid that youre going to fuck her and bail on her. There's not necesarily a "good reply" either way youre opening a can of worms unless you plan on making this girl your GF which i doubt that. I'm telling you now, even if you say the "right thing" for now to her, youre going to get hit with a bunch of her insecurity in the future. I've been here before. Personally i would bail now and get something more slutty thats okay with just fucking to have minimal headache. Lets face it, no man in here wants to deal with bitching all the time talking about "i dont think you love me, were not having sex tonight because you dont care about me", she's going to be extra needy to test you and see if youre feelings are genuine towards her. Did this all make sense?

Title	New plate is hitting me with a barrage of Comfort Tests... How should I respond?
Author	analogmilk
Upvotes	18
Comments	29
Date	April 29, 2019 3:56 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bir48k/new_plate_is_hitting_me_with_a_barrage_of_comfort/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/new-plate-is-hitting-me-with-a-barrage-of-comfort.236601 https://theredarchive.com/post/236601

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