A few months ago I met this HB7 at my school, not too bad, decent looks, dark humor like me, and studies Russian. We seem to click immediately and proceed to exchange numbers that night. Fast forward a few weeks later and I hit her up for drinks on a whim. She went on and on about learning Russian, Italian, and having lived in Italy for a few years. I just let her keep talking. The night goes well, good kino and IOIs but nothing major to report in the end.

Fast forward a few more months. I recently just moved back into the area of the school and decided to go out for some drinks at a local bar. Sure enough who do I see? The HB7. She was sitting with some friends at the bar talking about classes or something like that. Anyways I made my way over to her group, and introduced myself to her friends. We talked for a while and I seemed to make a good impression on the group. I told so stories and mentioned that I’ve been training for the spartan agoge. It also helps that since I’ve started training more I’m a bit leaner and more fit than I used to be. They could tell. After about an hour or so I got up to leave the bar. Right as I’m about to leave the HB7 runs up to me and gives me a hug, hands me her new number, and kisses me on the cheek.

Now here’s the kicker. I travel a lot for work, and today’s like any other day, I’m out of town about 4 hours away. So I’m texting the HB7 for the hell of it and turns out that she’s visiting some friends about an hour away from me. Holy shit I thought so I tell her to meet me at the hotel I’m staying at. She agrees.

Now..why is the title of my field report called “why going back to the game sometimes isn’t worth it”? Because I’ve been lying to her. For the past few months she’s said that she’s always been attracted to me, and how she misses me, and how she wants to have a relationship. And I’ve been Machiavellian about it the whole time. I want no part of a relationship, I want nothing to do with another persons feelings or wants. And I sure as shit don’t want to deal with the conversion after about “what are we?” I’m just here, sitting in my hotel room watching tv and typing on my phone. Am I going to get laid tonight? Sure. I’m I going to regret it tomorrow morning? Most definitely. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. I came out of monk mode a few months ago and I should have just stayed in it. I’m stagnant, and hate my job. I only left MM to test the skills of been working on for so long. They work, but the reward has no substance. Stay in MM and only work on yourself, for yourself.

I put too much effort into securing this f-close and I’m not happy about it. And could I call it off? Sure. But my mind is telling me that all my work would be wasted, and I hate wasting hard work. Stay on the hustle and work for yourself gentlemen.