I met this girl 2 years ago. This’ll sound so cliche but I knew from the moment I saw her that she was special. We talked and hung out and had a really instant connection, one I’d never felt with anyone. She felt the same way. I took her virginity and we really did fall in love. Although I loved her, I still wanted to fuck other girls. I fucked around and lied a lot, hurting her in the process. After a year she cut me off saying she couldn’t take the pain anymore.

Not having her was hell. No other girl could compare to her especially when it came to our connection. Plus I opened up to her about things I can’t fathom telling other girls about (without them running away at least). After multiple attempts at contacting her, she finally replied saying that she hasn’t been able to get over me and still loves me (even though she wishes she didn’t). She also said that I’m still the only guy she’s been with and as much as she’s tried to move on from me, no one was worth it. She hasn’t even kissed another guy. This just made me all the more in love with her and genuinely want to commit to her. What girl doesn’t fuck other guys after a break-up? She genuinely, genuinely loves me.

But as you can see from the title, there’s only one problem. I’m not sure I can stop fucking around. Spinning plates has become almost an addiction. These girls don’t mean shit to me but I get off on the ego boost of getting them in bed. As much as I want to lock her down before someone else does (my worst fucking nightmare), I don’t think I can give that up. I feel stuck.