advice on would be plate

CainPrice · 2019-05-29T18:02:11+00:00

After a first date, especially if you mess around, it's customary to send a text when you get home (or if you were at your place, maybe before you go to bed), just saying that you had fun tonight, it was good meeting her, and you'll text her again.

Since your first date was Monday and you're on to second date territory now, set your second date for this Saturday. Drinks at a place close to yours, any time after 8:00. Give her a kiss as soon as you see her, but just one then pull away and lead her to wherever you're sitting. Then spend about an hour talking and escalating until you go back to your place.

You seem a little over-focused on being deliberately obtuse and silent. Like you read on this forum that texting a girl is "beta", so you're going overboard trying not to text her at all, even when it would make sense to do so.

You didn't send the normal after-date text, so she thinks you didn't have a good time and that you were deliberately snubbing her by not doing so. Instead of that boorish, autistic "Me big alpha man. Me no listen to you" reply, I'd probably have gone with "Yeah. Fell asleep right after you left. Drinks at (place) this Saturday at 8:30?"

Kalikoenig · 2019-05-29T18:41:43+00:00

1) how long should i wait to schedule the next date?

Wait 5 or so days to reach out to her to set up the date IF she has not reached out to you. If she does reach out to you before, you assume she wants to see you again and set up the next date after she reaches out.

2) should i kiss her when we meet or only when escalating?

This one might be more personal preference, but I don't like giving her a kiss right away on date #2. I like to let the sexual tension build a bit first. Leave her wondering for the first part of your date why you didn't kiss her when greeting. "Does he like me? Why didn't he kiss me? Maybe I should start touching him more to give him the hint."

Also what is a good answer to a cheesy text she sent me the following day: "honestly, i thought you were gonna write me today that you had fun.. or something"

Your response was too direct and cold. You need to assume she's reaching out with the sole purpose of having you, the man, set up the next date. "I did have fun, let's do it again on Thursday." She might reply, "great sounds good". Then you say, "meet me at X at Y time. Looking forward to it."

There really isn't a point to try to be overly funny at this stage texting and there is definitely no point in being cold, especially if she's the one reaching out. You want to show that you're happy she reached out to you (positive reinforcement) while keeping in mind that texting is for setting dates at the beginning, and after another date or two, if she starts texting more, you can do a little witty banter, but it's not necessary right now. Set up the date, then forget about her until the date comes.

If she texts you in between setting the date and the date itself, maybe send one text back, then when she replies, tell her something like, "hey I am a bit busy right now and can't chat, hope you have a great day, see you Thursday."

WoodWizzy87 · 2019-05-29T18:42:26+00:00

She’s not a plate till she’s having casual sex with you every week dude. Get this through your head. There’s no would be plate. It’s a yes or no answer

Title	advice on would be plate
Author	gloriousfart
Upvotes	2
Comments	5
Date	May 29, 2019 5:56 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/buhwa8/advice_on_would_be_plate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/advice-on-would-be-plate.240122 https://theredarchive.com/post/240122

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