Thoughts on TRP from 25F

switchme808 · 2014-11-05T05:51:50+00:00

-"You will submit to me. I will control you and dominate you and don’t worry, you’re going to like it"

You are not the leader if you have to say you are the leader. This sub doesn't endorse this sort of weak speech.

-"You aren’t allowed to look at other men in my presence. If you make eye contact with another man I will assume you’re inherently flirting with him. Guys are vultures, if you give them an 'in' they will take it"

He is right. You don't have to accept this, you don't have to be his GF. Same goes for him.

-He would get upset with me if I didn’t go down on him or have sex with him at his request, to the point where I was afraid to tell him no and dreaded him initiating any sort of sexual activity

Again, I don't see any issues here. He's telling you his needs. You don't have to conform, you are free to not be his girl.

-Would call me a bitch in front of his friends if I was upset with him for a perceived wrongdoing and for “hamstering,”

This is an asshole thing to do. This sub doesn't endorse this behavior.

-Would consistently become upset with me if we were at shopping and I left his side; telling me I was succumbing to urges to search out other guys

You left his side and did what? In any case this signals insecurity. TRP doesn't advice men to act like this. On the contrary...

-He started to comment on how I should be cooking for him, doing his laundry. I would ask him why I should do these things for him, and what does he do for me? His reply was always that he was a man and was there to shepherd my emotions. We both worked full-time and I would always be the one to pack my things at night and come to his place. He never once, over the course of our relationship came to stay at my house.

-Every time we got in an argument he would threaten to leave, to break up. For me at the time, this hurt the most. By this point we had graduated college and I had remained in the college town with him; I had no friends or family to turn to

Anyway, he seems like he got some of RP right, but most of it wrong. It would be wrong to generalize this one example to whole TRP. Similarly abusive stories can be found about beta men. Especially since as far as you told us, this is all emotional abuse.

Who ended the relationship?

DoxasticPoo · 2014-11-05T06:03:20+00:00

I get why you posted her. You were in a relationship that hurt you and this sub echos that relationship... So you don't want other woman to be hurt in the same way. I had a terrible relationship once... and if I came across a sub of women who were seemingly preaching the emotional abuse I experienced... I would definitely be on it.

But the fact that you were attracted is probably all that we need. You fell for a Dark Triad type guy. You just supported everything we talk about.

But just because women fall for "evil" men doesn't mean all men will go that route. There will be plenty who come out of TRP looking like your current BF.

However, getting to the point we've gotten to here at TRP is partly due to being amoral. Which means analyzing why you fell for your ex, and doing what we can to emulate it in ways we find permissible, individually. So long as we can look ourselves in the mirror in the morning, all is fair. This sub is about reality first. And the reality is you chose him over a slew of nice guys.

I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Thank you for sharing. Now go share with your girlfriends. Because they're the ones who need to understand your story most.

/r/redpillwomen

yeahweewee · 2014-11-05T05:48:19+00:00

Your ex was as beta as it gets. Controlling behavior shows insecurity and lack of belief in one's own SMV. Women submit because they want to, not because they are forced. This is the cognitive dissonance that feminists are afraid to admit is true and that white knights cannot understand.

gameno · 2014-11-05T06:14:32+00:00

I got lost the first time reading this post. You spend a lot of time on your relationship with your ex. Then quickly in the third to last paragraph introduce your current boyfriend. Even in that paragraph you are comparing him to your ex.

I think it is important to view TRP as a process. There are five stages of TRP, read the rational male - 5 stages of unplugging. A lot of time when you read posts on here that scare you, you are most likely looking at a person in the stage of anger or a blue pill that is still plugged into the system and doesn't know it.

CptDefB · 2014-11-05T06:20:56+00:00

Hm.

If anything, your post highlights a lot of RP truths. You were "emotionally abused" in that situation with your ex. Then comes new PhD boyfriend that makes you feel soooo much better. You traded up, congratulations.

A lot of women aren't as lucky, they meet another variation of your (their) ex and think, "This is so much different!" If it doesn't work out, they can just find a new one. If things with Mr. PhD don't work out... you'll just find a new one.

I can appreciate the differences between old guy and new guy that you're trying to paint, but the fact is, everything old guy did worked on you, and you found him attractive enough to LTR with him. In short: doesn't matter, had sex.

Dismissive? Sure. But, from the way you describe yourself, at least 80% of us would be dismissed by you in turn. Let me guess, PhD guy is white and at least 5'10"? At least you consider yourself "lucky" now... all you have to do is not fuck it up, and you can have your cash and prizes.

Suck his dick on the regular, that is, if you want to keep him around.

trpaderp · 2014-11-05T05:39:45+00:00

If you were a guy I'd say you are in the anger phase. The way your ex treated you is not RP. It's some mix of BDSM and insecurity. Seems a lot like this guy read 50 Shades and wanted to toy with you.

Go back to reading this sub and the sidebar. Try to criticize less and understand more. Maybe check out /r/RedPillWomen. You still don't get it, but you think you do. Unlike a man in your position you can't get the feedback from applying the theory. You are the fish talking to the fishermen.

If you really want to discuss RP make a separate post. Next time pick one point that offends you and present it logically. The subject matter here is uncomfortable because it makes us look at our comforting assumptions.

I'm not going to tear your post apart trying to respond. Suffice it to say that you mix your opinions and judgements in with very little to support most of your positions. Just the process of organizing your thoughts up will shift your opinion.

P.S. Thanks for acknowledging that we have a point on this sub. I personally appreciate that.

2014-11-05T06:45:01+00:00

ITT: lots of white knights comforting her and telling her how such an asshole was the ex-bf...

ConfidenceMatters · 2014-11-05T06:55:30+00:00

This is a hilarious hamster.

If you're a so-called "9/10" (lol) then you'd have a plethora of guys to choose from and you would have dumped his ass had he really exhibited all that low-value behavior constantly. Meaning, there was no way you'd stay with a guy like that for the time you did.

"There are many truths on this subreddit. There are less dramatic variations of the same ideas my ex had that do work; they are ideas to be mindful of. My boyfriend now is wonderful. He is sexy. He lifts. He is in his third year of schooling to obtain his PhD. He commands attention in a room and he commands authority. He makes me feel naturally submissive just by being himself, not by trying to force it out of me as my ex did. I want to be his “first mate.” I want to please him. I want to cook for him, to clean his house, submit to him in the bedroom, to take care of him as I know he takes care of me and will always take care of me. He respects my opinions, he ASKS my opinions. He is open with his feelings, not just about me and our future, but about his worries, fears, and his accomplishments as well. He comforts me when I’m insecure, when I’m sad, when I’m unreasonable. He is a man. He is my man.

That to me is a true man, a true alpha. I think most original redpillers on here are trying to emulate the latter man, which isn’t a bad thing at all, despite so much opposition to this sub. However, a lot of newer users I think have the wrong idea of what it is to be a man. The type of behavior my ex exhibited won’t get you anywhere. Some of the posts I see on here are just downright awful when it comes to how to treat women.

I’m not even sure if I’m allowed to post this here. I would consider this sexual strategy. Anyway, it feels good to get this out. Thanks."

Yet hilariously enough, you're here sitting here reminiscing about your "terrible" ex. Recalling all the strong emotions he made you feel. Emotions AKA tingles.

Almost like you miss him, as if you're recalling the one that got away...

"I am smart; I am confident. I majored in biochemistry and I work at a Fortune 500 company. I do not want for much."

This means you're masculine as fuck.

We both worked full-time

Especially working full-time..

In TRP standards, you are nowhere near 8-9/10. Neither physically because then you wouldn't have 'endured' such a ''shit'' relationship. I smell a 6-6.5/10

"I have never had a ONS."

Lie #1 women tell: their sexual history in order to preserve their innocent image.

I had just gotten out of a relationship 6 months prior and was lonely.

This means that you allegedly hadn't had sex in 6 months prior, correct, since you only have sex with boyfriends.

What's the #2 lie women tell? how long ago they have sex.

http://www.returnofkings.com/46231/the-7-most-common-lies-women-tell-in-a-relationship

-"You will submit to me. I will control you and dominate you and don’t worry, you’re going to like it"

-"You aren’t allowed to look at other men in my presence. If you make eye contact with another man I will assume you’re inherently flirting with him. Guys are vultures, if you give them an 'in' they will take it"

-He would get upset with me if I didn’t go down on him or have sex with him at his request, to the point where I was afraid to tell him no and dreaded him initiating any sort of sexual activity

-Would call me a bitch in front of his friends if I was upset with him for a perceived wrongdoing and for “hamstering,”

-Would consistently become upset with me if we were at shopping and I left his side; telling me I was succumbing to urges to search out other guys

-He started to comment on how I should be cooking for him, doing his laundry. I would ask him why I should do these things for him, and what does he do for me? His reply was always that he was a man and was there to shepherd my emotions. We both worked full-time and I would always be the one to pack my things at night and come to his place. He never once, over the course of our relationship came to stay at my house.

-Every time we got in an argument he would threaten to leave, to break up. For me at the time, this hurt the most. By this point we had graduated college and I had remained in the college town with him; I had no friends or family to turn to

Shiiiit. Sounds like a great way to lock a girl down and supply the Chick Crack women crave, since it apparently worked/works on an allegedly "smart," 8-9/10 High School Prom Queen. Hell, and he broke up with you?

gg, OP is definitely an Alpha-widow who will never get over her ex. I feel bad for your current BF who simply will never outdo the emotional "trauma" (aka Tingle Overload)

This post was clearly made for attention and validation. "Hey guys look at me Im hot, here's some bullshit 'female perspective' to help that's really me trying to rationalize how I toootally upgraded from my ex who dumped me and am totally over my ex"

Once again, assholes 1 good dudes 0

2014-11-05T06:06:19+00:00

TL;DR: I wish I could unsuck his dick.

Pro-tip: You can't.

winnnnnnnnn · 2014-11-05T06:53:08+00:00

Sorry but your post is bullshit... IMO. There's way too much solipsism in your story for me to take it serious as objective advice. In fact it seems suspicious... almost like your pushing an agenda under the guise of "let me tell you how I feel as a women/advice". That said your boyfriend was nothing like what actual core red pill theory espouses... and his behavior certainly doesn't match that of someone who is well versed and understands how to apply the redpill in real life and in their relationships. Sounds like he was just controlling and insecure. All beta tells. I'm confused as to what this/him and his "ideas" have to do with red pill... Granted a lot of men like your ex may and do come to the red pill after fucking up (as they should). Your equating the noise ratio here which is high as all fuck. With what this sub actually stands for... and how could you not if its all you see. There angry venomous betas all over this place and they have a right to be that way. Hell I haven't fully shaken the "anger phase" myself... but I've calmed down a ton sense I came here fresh from breakup. I've also cut up very nicely and made great use of my height and natural mesomorph body type (shameless plug... but to all my sad pup bro's reading this... LIFT). My point is the "awful" post are part of healing process and rarely expressed by the veteran/endorsed members who have there shit together and are spinning plates and enjoying life and have fuck all to do with you (again solipsism) and your feelings. This place is about helping the angry beta work through his feelings and allowing him to express himself and hopefully take some of this advice and apply it in the real world. You wincing when you read something you don't like has absolutely nothing to do with that.

aOs_Student · 2014-11-05T07:08:11+00:00

I stopped reading after half way through when you started comparing your beta ex bf to redpill theory. Being controlling has nothing to do with redpill at all and Yes you are posting in n the wrong sub. /r/twoxchromosomes is that way.

Entrefut · 2014-11-05T07:57:30+00:00

If you're going to do anything but lurk or post FRs on this subreddit, I would stronly recommend you go through every piece of sidebar material. You're smart, it should only take you a couple of hours to work through it all. But 99% of the questions you have asked in your post and frustrations you have with sub could be resolved internally by ingraining that material in you. The reason this sub intrigues you is the same reason TRP theory works, it's the truth. Individual field reports and the occasional /u/GayLubeOil theory can be very offensive and blunt to someone who hasn't properly educated themselves on everything that is behind the mindset of TRP. Ever tried arguing evolution to a sheltered religious person?

If the sub intrigues you, the sidebar material will intrigue you more. I'd also recommned reading No More Mr. Nice Guy to better understand the modern day male predicament. There is no substitute for strong statistical information provided in the sidebar and no better way to understand TRP than to read the philosophies behind our theories written by men much more educated than the majority of your posters here. Maybe after you go through all that you won't need our help to understand your feelings towards men. You're ex was extremely needy through his demands. He did not exhibit am abundance mentality and obviously has some emotional issues towards women. But in the end all I really got from your post is that you as a woman don't know what you want in a man. In my opinion you might actually have more to gain from this thread than a lot of men do. You can know the exact behaviors you are looking for in a man and accept what attracts you.

2014-11-05T06:45:34+00:00

He still fucked you. And that's all I'm really after. Sorry, sweetie.

2014-11-05T06:01:46+00:00

"You will submit to me. I will control you and dominate you and don’t worry, you’re going to like it"

-"You aren’t allowed to look at other men in my presence. If you make eye contact with another man I will assume you’re inherently flirting with him. Guys are vultures, if you give them an 'in' they will take it"

-He would get upset with me if I didn’t go down on him or have sex with him at his request, to the point where I was afraid to tell him no and dreaded him initiating any sort of sexual activity

-Would call me a bitch in front of his friends if I was upset with him for a perceived wrongdoing and for “hamstering,”

-Would consistently become upset with me if we were at shopping and I left his side; telling me I was succumbing to urges to search out other guys

This is not rp in my opinion. This is pathetic. He got upset over stupid things, he is outwardly controlling you at your expense and not for his gain. Also, rp does not advocate outward statements of domination in the relationship; its like when the villain says he is going to shoot the hero before he even does it, which gives the hero enough time to escape and defeat the villain(not that rp is the bad guy, but I think rp advocates for more villain qualities than typical hero qualities).

When rp says to take charge in a relationship, it is only for positive results. The harsh side of what rp advocates is when Women are being unreasonable, and maybe sometimes when women want to expect more commitment(RP is kind of against true commitment because of the current state of marriage politics and how mostly one-sided the benefits are in marriage, but this has been a hot debate topic in this subreddit).

I think RP is an ends justify the means type of idea, adapting to the nature of relationships and society so that there is a net increase in positive result for men and women in relationships. We realize the subtle imperfection in women(tendency to act like children, etc) and take responsibility make it a better world for men in relationships.

I am new here, and this may be wrong. Just my opinion.

InMooseWeTrust · 2014-11-05T05:42:28+00:00

Why are there no other comments? This post is brilliant!

yeahweewee · 2014-11-05T07:29:09+00:00

TRP does NOT have a morality, the first boyfriend was entirely successful and never "failed" he ended the relationship after 3 years when he got bored, he had sex whenever he want he had her clean and take care of him.

While subtle displays of dominance are far more effective and less "evil" there are no more or less alpha than overt ones

boyfriend1 sounds like a classic abusive husband and frankly given the description of boyfriend2, boyfriend1 ignore morality is far more alpha

saying the first type of behavior "won't get you anywhere" is proven false by your own story, he dated a "9/10 prom queen" for 3 years and then dumped you when he was done.

obviously boyfriend2 persona would be preferable to most guys(myself included) but frankly without years and years of practice a beta becoming that kind of alpha is just a fantasy

mega_beta · 2014-11-05T05:49:11+00:00

Yeah, sounds like your ex really lacked tack. Playing the alpha is an art, sort of like being a parent. You can't just pick up the how-to book and start saying, "I am your master."

yeahweewee · 2014-11-05T05:53:21+00:00

[permanently deleted]

VarsitySlutTeamCpt · 2014-11-05T06:33:58+00:00

Your BF seems to be a control freak and manipulative. A real alpha wouldn't give a shit if you had 12 dicks down your throat, he'd assume the nature of women and just next you.

Title	Thoughts on TRP from 25F
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	49
Date	November 5, 2014 5:25 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2lca6h/thoughts_on_trp_from_25f/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/thoughts-on-trp-from-25f.24302 https://theredarchive.com/post/24302

Comments