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FR: Looks don't matter

by slay_it_forward | November 08, 2014 | TheRedPill

15 upvotes

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It's common knowledge in other parts of the manosphere (RSD, Heartiste) that a man's looks are quite far down the list of common attributes that women find attractive but here at TRP the opposite seems to be preached and I'm not sure why that is.

Now to the field report backing up my claim. I was out at a Romanian club last night standing at the bar having a drink when this young, loud, brash Romanian dude rolled up with about seven of his buds following behind. On his way over he said something to a group of girls dancing and you would of thought he knew them. He didn't, he was assuming massive familiarity. I thought to myself here comes the alpha.

He proceeded to order like 10 shots of Jag for everyone in proximity (it was his birthday), myself included. He was treating me like a new best friend. He was dancing around, getting physical with everyone, just completely unstifled. This could of been partially alcohol induced but I got the sense this guy was a natural. All of his friends were hanging on his every word and looking to him for direction.

About an hour later I saw him in a different area of the bar ordering more shots but this time with only a few of his buddies and five gorgeous young Romanian girls. Again, all of their attention was completely on him and at one point he just grabbed the hottest one and started making out with her. He then took her and the rest of the girls out to the dance floor. He had the commanding presence that most of the guy's on this sub wish they had, myself included. I highly doubt he has any idea of what he was doing consciously. I doubt he spends hours watching or reading pick up material. He probably doesn't even know pick up material exists, yet he was the guy with the hottest girls in the club on his arms. It's just the way he is.

Thing is...he was average looking. No better looking than me or any of his friends. He was probably 5'10, shorter than most of his friends. I actually wouldn't say he was good looking at all but I'm sure those girls were thinking in their heads, "he's sooo hawt" but they weren't sure why they felt that way. As Heartiste would say he was all ATTITUDE.

Of course looks matter to a degree and everyone should optimize their aesthetic, but all the talk here of looks being #1 is nonsense.


Post Information
Title FR: Looks don't matter
Author slay_it_forward
Upvotes 15
Comments 23
Date 08 November 2014 05:02 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/24514
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2lop6k/fr_looks_dont_matter/
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Comments

[–]u-r-silly8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

with about seven of his buds following behind

He had social proof

he was assuming massive familiarity

he was confident

he proceeded to order like 10 shots of Jag for everyone

he appeared rich

[–]slay_it_forward[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Since when is buying a few shots appearing rich? He probably spent 30 bucks all night. He could be a 1st year plumber and afford that.

All the other guys had social proof but didn't have girls all over them.

Again, it was the way he was acting.

[–]u-r-silly5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't say rich in the sense of monetary value spent. It's more in the sense: I buy stuff for all, take it. Dude didn't know you and you still received. He was providing without giving a shit about reaction. Alpha stuff right there.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy

He proceeded to order like 10 shots of Jag for everyone in proximity (it was his birthday)

Call me old fashioned but normally people buy you drinks on your bday

[–]slay_it_forward[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I guess not in formerly communist countries.

[–]abdada3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I would never let people buy me drinks on my birthday, and never had. When I used to drink, I always bought rounds on my birthday.

For some reason, no matter how much I think about this, I can not see the value in having shots bought for me. On my birthday, I am the de facto leader. It's my job to take care of my friends and fans and carry-ons, and I'll do it by providing shots.

What's the loss? A few hundred bucks one night a year?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Is this a culture thing? In the US when we all go out then everybody buys the birthday person a shot (when you're 21 you try to get to 21 drinks)

[–]abdada2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was born in the US to immigrant parents, and did spend a lot of our vacations growing up in post-communist countries (or even communist countries back then).

The most "alpha" people I knew where I grew up (Rosemont, Illinois, a so-called mob town) would never accept gifts on birthdays. Birthdays are to celebrate your people who you love and lead. I hate gifts. I spend way more on my birthday than on any other day of the year.

Some birthdays I've surprised friends with vacations to join me on a beach away from home. If I'm getting a party together, I'm the one hosting it and I am bearing the costs. We aren't celebrating ME, we are celebrating our bond together with me as the pivot.

I can't wrap my head around people assuming a leadership role on my birthday.

[–]BluebirdJingle5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

He had the commanding presence that most of the guy's on this sub wish they had, myself included

This is key. You know how children sometimes hurt themselves and then act confused? They're not sure how to react to pain. That's why parental advice sources always say that unless your toddler has a gaping flesh wound you should do your best to react calmly and so will they, as opposed to crying uncontrollably to get attention.

Turns out adults are like that as well. Why do you think we can be told what "beauty standards" are by fashion magazines? Why do you think everyone has individual tastes? Because we know jack shit about looks. Sure, looking stereotypically handsome will help you a whole bunch with women pre-programmed by pop media, but if you possess a presence like your protagonist then you can just as easily convince people that they're wrong about what they think.

This is also a popular negotiation tactic. Confuse your adversary and make him or her doubt what they believe. Once you break initial resistance (in this case what someone may think should be attractive), you've got an entirely new kind of influence over them.

[–]slay_it_forward[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Another thing people do is rationalize why he's attractive. "oh, it must be his hair, or his cool shirt or his muscles". Nope, it's how he is behaving.

[–]abdada10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly.

I have always known I am ugly. Even when I was wealthy, I never fixed my teeth. I have a birthing defect (not a birth defect, but an error during birthing) that screwed my face up pretty terribly. 99% of people who try to troll me immediately make fun of the mole on my face, or my height, or my crooked smile.

Guess what? 100% of things that make me ugly are the exact things that beautiful women say they loved most about my look and were most attracted to.

Women will rationalize ugly into handsome. I am proof of that.

And if I could change anything, I wouldn't. A man with physical scars is a man with history that people want to know about. Just don't have any emotional scars on display.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Looks DO matter, but for guys there's simply more to fall back on if you are not especially good in that realm; dominance status, wealth - which the guy in your story displayed all of to a large degree.

[–]slay_it_forward[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I should of added that as long as you are in the realm of average looks don't matter. I've seen too many examples of this to think otherwise. Of course if you're 5'3 or somehow deformed things might be tough going.

Again, it was purely the way this guy was acting that made him attractive to the girls. In no way does buying a few shots demonstrate wealth or being out with a few friends demonstrate status. You're making things up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Height is probably the number one factor when it comes to a mans looks. Second comes muscles. Was he in shape too? You don't mention this. The guy you describe likely meets the pre-requisites. Looks matter.

Yes, buying shots for everyone does indicate wealth. Yes, being out with friends does indicate status. Consider the context of the situation and the alternatives. He didn't go there alone and he didn't hold out on drinks. You fail to recognize the power of a woman's imagination.

[–]slay_it_forward[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

No one knows me therefore I have no credibilty but explain to me why the number one pick up company in the world (RSD) says it doesn't matter.

They go out every night and have seen what I just described probably thousands of times. That's why they know it doesn't matter.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Maybe because it gives men a false sense of hope leading to more sales.

How many of them are short, fat shlubs with no friends?

[–]foldpak1110 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

RSD is the one PUA that isn't bullshit. What they say goes.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Try answering the question instead of making empty platitudes.

[–]mega_beta1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women are sheep and like to be dominated. That's really all there is to it. Boisterous behavior shows that you can be dominant.

[–] points points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]R4F10 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

SMV is a tally of three things imo: looks, money, status.

Personality, including confidence, falls within the third. Have enough of one, and it can outweigh the others. TRP doesn't obsess over looks, it tells us to work on all three things.

[–]alreadyredschool0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Looks don't matter is a lie told by the PUA-community because it is filled with ugly guys and ugly guys are the target group. Then there are the PUA-hate idiots that place too much responsibility on looks. This is a defense mechanism to shift the blame on the too high standards of women. Both are extreme. Of corse looks matter, whoever tells you something different is either stupid or lying. But looks alone also won't get you laid/rejected. Focusing on stuff that you can't change doesn't matter.

[–]alreadyredschool0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Looks don't matter is a lie told by the PUA-community because it is filled with ugly guys and ugly guys are the target group. Then there are the PUA-hate idiots that place too much responsibility on looks. This is a defense mechanism to shift the blame on the too high standards of women. Both are extreme. Of corse looks matter, whoever tells you something different is either stupid or lying. But looks alone also won't get you laid/rejected. Focusing on stuff that you can't change doesn't matter. Looks money status all 3 are important and you can compensate to some degree with the other two as long you meet the threshold. Also anecdotal evidence.



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