I realise that I'm addicted to dopamine spikes from stuff like good night texts, positive compliments and so on. My girlfriend is not too vocal and speaks little (texts little) and I realised I'm going crazy if I don't get these confirmations.

I focus hard on not being emotional, not being needy, rarely texting first (letting her initiate more than me) and so on, but it is all a FACADE. I logically do this, but my emotions internally are not calibrated. Sometimes when she is upset about something and I literally stand there emotionless and are like "you want to leave maybe?" she has noticed that I FAKE this. Basically that I make conscious effort to not be affected by her emotions. And she is right. I DO. Because TRP taught not to be a little bitch. But I have not internalised it, I feel insecure deep inside and deeply crave acceptance from women. Despite having women message me years after dating and wanting to meet me again and generally having positive reinforcement from the world.

Despite that I'm still mentally fucked up. How do I get over this hurdle and TRULY not give a fuck instead of just pretending not to?

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Fucking other girls? They are available actually, but it still doesn't work.

I'm over 6 feet, very fit and not ugly, also have money, dick is average, so I'm working on extending it.

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Working on improving myself in every aspect, every single day.