36/M, Midwest US.

Started dating HB8.5 who had a young kid, presumably Chad’s who was not in the picture whatsoever. This was 5 years ago and she was 25.

I come from a traditional family and saw myself as a provider, in a way rescuing this girl and her child. Our relationship was good, not great. She wasn’t very submissive but was pretty and kinky, funny, and liked to drink with me. Easy on the eyes which blinded me.

1.5 years in she got pregnant. Was on the pill. Says she might have not taken it at the right time consistently, or forgot at times, I don’t know. I knew it was bullshit immediately.

What I didn’t know at the time, but know now, is how common this is.

So I did the right thing, bought a house, we moved in and our shared kiddo plus her kiddo are in a weird ass living situation. Our relationship was very often strained l but time moves on.

She pressured for marriage quite a lot for a while. I was hesitant since I know she was taking advantage of me, not really offering much in return, and I know she’d expect me to adopt Chad’s kiddo and we’d be the happy family. Might even forget that the oldest kid wasn’t mine.

Except I just can’t see Chad’s kid the same way as mine, and at times i get grossed out. We still aren’t married, but have been living together almost 3 years. I bought the house in my own name 100%. She is a stay at home mom (I grew up with a SAHM and am ok supporting that) to our baby and Chad’s.

Our relationship has gotten shitty. Everything is tense, she’s not appreciative, I don’t think she brings much to the table besides keeping my kid fed and clothed when I’m at work. I do most of the shopping, cooking, and cleaning because someone has to, but I’m butthurt about it.

I’ve been reading about relationships and for the last year spending a lot of time on RP subreddits and MGTOW. I love it and it has opened my eyes so much.

But from my Matrix days I’m in this situation. I feel not being married gives me some leverage, but at the same time I think she could walk away with my kid and that’s her leverage.

My adore my kid and want to do everything I can to be the best dad. While not planned, I love being a dad. So I can’t burn this whole situation to the ground even though I daydream about it.

I want to Go My Own Way With My Kid. Mom is a good mom, just a shitty partner to me and we are not compatible. Again, not married and the house is in my name. I’m guessing a separation would entitle lots of child support and unmarried alimony since she is a SAHM.

Now obviously I will be talking to a lawyer to see what my options are. But i am posting here for a reason. I’m trying to find a way to frame this situation and approach it mentally/internally.

I’ve been reading MarriedRedPill which is a brilliant sub. Lots of talk of owning your shit and STFU. I can own my mistakes but it’s hard to learn and move on since we have a shared kid. I also can’t seem to STFU. I’m just bitter and pissed. It feels like a waste of time to feign attractiveness in this relationship.

I will take any advice you have or reading material. I want to protect myself and my kid of course, which is what a lawyer is for. But I also want to find a way to frame my life so I can build toward something to give me peace.