Hi, 17 year old here. Every time I get into conflict with my dad or anyone with a higher position of authority, my frame crumbles. Even though I have a mission that I strive to accomplish, my mind and will falter at the presence of types of conflict like this. I try to regain control of my frame but my ego has been a bitch. My dad was teaching me how to drive and I have made a fuck ton of mistakes. I do not get why I could not handle the berating and the negative comments my dad has made. And at the end of the day when I parked the car, I made mistakes because I was afraid of getting scolded. I overestimated my ability to stand tall against trials and tribulations. At the end of the day, I cried because my ego was shattered, and I cried in front of them. And I find myself now, contemplating about why. I always thought of myself as awakened. A man in the making viewing the world through the red pill lens. But a simple harsh lesson from my dad made me fucking cry. What the hell is wrong with my frame? And how do I fix it? Now I am ashamed of myself, because I cried in front of my younger sister, and broke my frame with her in the backseat. I am afraid that my place in the family is the lowest it has ever been. I am afraid that my siblings will look down on me because I am supposed to be the eldest.