If you find yourself wallowing in any kind of pain, emotional distress or despair, remember these vital words:

Frame

In short, this means keeping yourself in check constantly, in all aspects:

Physical:

  1. Always remember your posture. It doesn't have to be aggressive, unless the situation calls for it. If it doesn't, be cool, calm, attentive, manly. Think of the how the wolf and the lion switch between being contemplative and extremely aggressive, depending on the context. Between the two, we should also be playful. Walk with purpose, look ahead, enjoy the beauty around you if you find it. Breathe.
  2. Take care of your body in whatever manner you can: gym, doing healthy physical stuff around the house/work/wherever you can, bodyweight when nothing else is available. Never skip on the bodyweight stuff, there's no excuse for it if you're healthy.

Intellectual:

No need to be a know-it-all, especially an obnoxious one (unless that's what you want). Just consume quality information and entertainment. Discuss, learn from others, share with others, everyone profits. The vital exception is to try and be an expert in 1-3 fields that you're really interested in. Sincerely dedicated men are attractive men. Be a dilettante, but not an elitist asshole (again, unless this is what you aim for).

Emotional:

This gets better with time and experience. Yes, it's hard to believe when you suffer, but it happens. What's great is that you can work on it. I'll get to the point with it: if you meet the woman you think deserves your emotional support, feel free to confide in her whatever it is that you want. BUT always - always - do it by maintaining frame. If she's mature enough to deserve such a privilege, great. If she's not and you still do it she'll probably respond in ways that might hurt. No problem, this just means she doesn't deserve it so you move on. No matter the woman, always keep calm and talk about emotional stuff sincerely, without seeking affectation - from any one side - or mercy. Emotionally mature people will know how to respond. The others you ignore and move on.

Optionality

We can also call this Diversity. No matter your life, try and maintain a healthy dose of optionality:

Women - Don't jump on them because you're desperate and seek to hide from yourself. Whatever you choose - years of plating or something serious - you always maintain frame and you always have a life besides women. If you're not in something serious but still can't go to clubs because of whatever reason, just engage any woman you come across with a healthy, playful attitude. Feel free to make compliments and smile without expecting the world in return. Play with them, show them you're not afraid. If you're in a LTR, there's no need to cheat. Just work on your overall frame and continue a healthy life along your woman. If she becomes a problem or if you decide she needs to be let go, you still have all your other life which should make it easy to meet other women soon.

Work and skills - A case by case problem, some of us are more secure than others. Whatever your position, be sure you're not simply a bookworm, a gym rat or the man-in-the-house. Work and learn skills in diverse domains. No one asks you to be everything to everyone, just be a healthy dilettante. Think of yourself as a modern Pirate, Mercenary or maybe Leonardo da Vinci. Don't let one obsession consume all your life, spread out to several healthy ones. Of course, they should be skills that help you in the long-term.

Archetype

When you think of Archetype, consider your model for yourself. This can come from several places (yes, including video games) but with time, I've found that we naturally form a combination of characteristics that are healthy and help self-improvement over the long-term. You can think of characters from movies/stories/etc., your dad/grandfather, public personalities or different trades. Again, I try to come back to Leonardo da Vinci and try to think of myself as a modern Mercenary/Pirate. This immediately helps to conflate my frame and everything that I need for a healthy attitude.

Of the three, I'd say Frame and Archetype might be more available as immediate help. Archetype is probably the one that contains the other two, especially if you move on to a specific trade/person (Pirate/your grandfather/etc.)

There's a lot that could be written on all of these, but they form a strong basis from which to recover and maintain a healthy life. Hit me with your best contributions.

Alexander

http://rebelcomplex.com