Thanks to the red lense I'm able to analyze and see things differently from what I used to be able to. I can see more. This is one such example of AWALT. I disturb an old bro I haven't hung out with in quite a while by predicting the next part in the majority of his story about his 1 year LTR. Let's call him Jimmy. Jimmy and I have known each other since back in my BP days. He wasn't around for my slow progression and rewiring of my mind.

So after talking future goals and life and how we are trying to get through the struggle, I ask him about his relationship. This was mostly to make sure he was following the good book. Giving him some healthy non condemning accountability and advice. #KeepItChristian

He says for the most part it's successful. They are doing great. He's trying his best to stay out of the sticky situations in terms of sexual immorality and all of that jazz, trying his best to lead her and be her guide in life. He basically tells me the entire tale of his 1 year long LTR. How it had a "rocky" start, but it all came through.

So in the beginning he was getting out of a very toxic relationship with a girl that is now a Buddhist feminist. We'll call her Jessie The girl manipulated him backwards and forwards. Using his genuine love for her against him. Savaging his time and resources inhibiting his progress in his music profession, etc. Basically he was trying to keep it christian, but she, being a typical woman, was manipulating his weak will to put him in situations where he would break his moral code. The situation left him emotionally and physically damaged and drained often. He then tells me this was around the time he was starting to have a bit of a relationship with his now LTR. Let's call her Cindy.

Anyway the ever toxic Jessie plays the "Oh I'm an emotional wreck and only YOU can comfort me and if I kill myself or whatever it's all YOUR fault." card. I stop him and say "I know you believed her then, but you surely know that all of that was purely a lie right?". He replied "I certainly found out later that night!". He stays up and plays the emotional tampon. After she dumps it all on him she wants him to come to bed with her(she's a fat white girl)(He's a pretty attractive yet small lightskin black guy). He says "I'll just sleep on the couch. No interest in sleeping with you". She sweeaaaaaaaaaars and prooooooooooomises she won't try anything. He falls for it. Get's laid. Doesn't sleep that entire night despite having to work an entire day the next day and then later going to a concert with the other girl that next evening.

Crazy girl Jessie then threatens to tell his new girlfriend that she has been doing xyz with him when she finds out he goes to a concert with other girl. He should have just let her do it if you ask me and then deal with it when it came up. But To head this off he tells "innocent" little Cindy about what happened. She cries. Then he goes "but to my surprise she forgave me!?!? I couldn't believe it." Ofcourse she forgave you bro. She knows you're worth the chase now because you've proven you can replace her

So accidental dread game kickstarted their relationship 1 year ago. But how are things now? He says she is far more appreciative than most girls. Extremely sensitive. She doesn't like it when he teases her. I ofcourse say good. Keep it up. I call bs in my head on her actually being that sensitive, but love is patient and love is kind. So you don't go dropping bombs on a guy with oneitis about how their girl is a typical girl and you shouldn't think she's so special when she's not all in one meeting. Better just to give him one nugget for him to focus on right now. He reveals that when they first started dating he was extremely upfront with the mother about everything. He told her his whole history. Where he is, where he wants to go, what he plans on doing with the daughter, Godly relationship, etc. He says "I gave her all of that so that she would know my intentions were pure, especially after all of the guys that "naive innocent" Cindy had been with before hand."(Cock carousel, alphas just pumping and dumping) I stop him and said "You shouldn't have done that. She probably respects you and trusts you less now." He replies "How'd you know that? From that moment til only recently she trusted me less and always acted a little funny around me. Because I had did the opposite of all the other guys Cindy had been with. All the other guys she knew very little about, she just knew they were strong."

After I guess what happens next a few more times he starts to respect me more. You can see it in his body language. So I drop a very simple statement on him and offer to meet up once a week to chill and talk bible and life. The statement was. "As bad as this will sound to you. If you don't chase those dreams you told me about tonight instead of chasing Cindy, you're going to be stuck for the rest of your life at the level you're at right now. And the worst part is. She'll hate you for it, and you'll resent her for holding you back from it. I know that's not where you want to be. If you truly love her, you'll chase your dreams and you'll chase your God rather than chasing her to the fullest."

Remember guys AWALT. Even the good christian girls.