No. Not in height, although stats are 5’8” 164 Bench 270x4 sq 305x5 DL 375x5.

So I was and really still am well on my way with my MAP. Somewhere along the last few months I lost some of that drive and determination. Why? Death and illness around me? Yes. Uncomfortable with less job security than before? Yes. Blue pull programming kick back in as I got comfortable? I believe so.

What I learned about myself was that “being comfortable” sucks. I’m not wired that way, and I don’t believe many men are.

What came to light was that without struggle success is bitter sweet. I’ve got the money and material things many men my age would envy based on statistics. Why DEEP down did I feel like a loser though? I mean real DEEP guys. This took years and some therapy to figure out. If you are smart and driven $100k/yr isn’t shit. If it is where you live you need to Seek bigger opportunities. I didn’t for years, but everybody considered me to be successful. WTF? Why is the bar so low?

I decided my employer is literally nothing but a temporary holding place to make my money. I give zero fucks what my boss thinks. Don’t take that to mean I don’t manage the relationship and make sure he sees my wins. People do matter. I just place no value on their opinion anymore.

How? I started to apply myself towards the things I WANT. I’m focused again, and I finally know the things I want. They are written in the MAP and reviewed weekly. Now that I know at every level that I am applying myself to my potential nothing else matters. Fire me? Your fucking loss asswipe. I’ll be your competition. Im already talking to them to keep options open.

This has had profound effects on me just a few weeks in. Good and bad, although the bad hopefully is transient. Lack of appetite, sleep inconsistent, weight loss, etc.

The best me that’s got me is in the title. Short fuse. When I’m after something I want I channel all efforts to get it. That usually means working WITH people. Managing relationships. In my personal life I just can’t keep that act up today. I will not tolerate bullshit. Example, ask the wife a yes/no question. Get an answer that was long winded without answering the question. I end up asking again with a stern tone. Goes over about as great as you might expect!

In some cases I’m just enforcing boundaries, and I know all will fall in line as it did in the past. Patience. The example above, not so sure. Anybody have a similar experience? How did it play out?