I am still swallowing the pill, and I feel bad about the way I start to see women around me.

Growing with my mother and sister, I was taught to respect and idealize women, to make everything I can to make my future girlfriend happy, to be one of those bluePilled husbands you see in movies. Since discovering TRP I see patterns in all of the women behaviour, but I feel a king of guilt, for suddenly thinking differently, I feel hard to respect woman anymore, after all the years of idealizing them. I also feel bad because I see those patterns in my sister's and mother's behaviour too, and I find hard to see them differently from all the other women. Althrough I dont hate women, I dont respect them either anymore. All my life I wanted to find the perfect girlfriend to live all my life with, but now I can't see myself with a girl in the future anymore. How can I adapt to this new thinking?

I feel guilty for lying about my true opinions, I can't talk to anyone about TRP mentality, because they'll see me as misogyn or incel. I sometimes fear of slowly starting to hate women in general and I don't want to, but I also can't go back to the old mentality as my eyes were forever opened. I also fear that I won't a;wais be able to fake my true thinking, and some will figure it out .

Did you feel this guilt at the beginning?