I (30) and wife (27) were on the brink of divorce a couple years ago until I discovered trp. I decided the epitome of alpha is to do whatever I want and went back to being my natural self; an uninhibited asshole.

We just celebrated our 9 year anniversary. She said not to get her anything so I didn’t but she had secretly gotten me a gift and wrote me a love note. Yes I know I’m stupid for falling for that. I made up for it with some last minute gifts and a night out.

She also decided we should film a threesome movie with this smoking hot Latvian chick the week prior. And it’s been 2 years since she’s let me fuck another woman because the last time I handled it poorly and she got really jealous. (Useful tip: don’t focus all your attention on the other girl and ignore your wife like a fucking idiot)

So basically she feels unloved and unappreciated but I’m so involved in my selfish desires and too into my own world to notice.

I’ve been too alpha and in the wrong ways. I used up all my beta points since finding TRP and now I need to build up the comfort again. Just been a bad husband honestly.

I feel like she’s attracted to me and tolerates my bullshit from pure dread alone because i surround myself with younger women when I’m out on the town. I swung way too hard in the other direction after many years of betadom.

So I know I should re-introduce being more kind and thoughtful and romantic (not to mention loyal). But it just feels so forced. Also feel entitled to have her unwavering love and good behavior and I act like a bitch when I don’t get that.

For Instance: Usually around every full moon my wife is ovulating. She tests my strength as a man by “confessing” she wants to live her own life without someone lording over her. She married too young and never got to experience life.

I should know this is a clear shit test because it happens so routinely. But because it’s been a month since the last time, I’ve already forgotten.

I’ve gotten used to my nice, respectful wife and feel offended and hurt that she would say such things. I feel betrayed and unappreciated! Yes I know that’s fucking gay but it’s what just happened.

I know logically that she is ovulating and this is an opportunity to man up and ravage her. I wish I could consume her with my masculine energy but instead I act like a butt hurt little bitch.

When she is acting testy/bitchy/annoying, it makes my dick soft and there’s no way I could fuck her. But she deliberately makes herself look hot as fuck and I know she craves to be dominated but I just can’t do it. I’m confident in pretty much all areas of life I’m not sure why I struggle with this.

What can I do to fix this feeling? I can’t get aroused when she’s testing me but I know the best way to pass with flying colors is to dominate her sexually and make her cum.

How can I connect with her better and get into the sexual head space under duress?

I jerk off to porn about once or twice a week max which is significantly less than before. The issue is I’m only able to be aroused when I feel happy and comfortable so when shes acting like what I see as an intolerable cunt, I become uncomfortable.

Also didn’t lift for a week and my sleep schedule is completely fucked. But that’s largely irrelevant because being butthurt over shit tests has been a recurring theme for me.

Maybe I secretly care way too much what she thinks and that’s why her shit testing has an effect on me. Maybe I’m so bored I’m voluntarily giving my time away to her manufactured drama. Or I’m just a bitch cause that’s how it feels when your emotions over power your reasoning mind.

Why can’t I choose not to be effected ? And instead take her negativity and turn it into nurturing love (and a good hard fucking).

This feels like teenage angst. No self respecting man should be this easily swayed by the fickle words of a woman.