What now?

TheMadWoodcutter · 2019-02-05T17:45:35+00:00

A lot of the process of "detoxing" from red pill philosophy comes from identifying the cognitive dissonances in it, recognizing how they've been affecting your thought processes in unhealthy ways, and then replacing those processes with better ones.

One of the best places to start is to recognize that all women are unique. There are certainly patterns, but there is infinite variability within those patterns and you cannot rely on any given strategy. Another thing to recognize is that red pill philosophy is by its very nature manipulative and abusive. In order to be successful it requires a particular kind of woman, usually one who is either immature, or emotionally compromised in some way, in order for her to be vulnerable to the strategies.

Women who are mature, emotionally healthy, and have strong support systems in place, will not respond well to red pill strategies. Women like this are more likely to respond to traits like compassion, empathy, intelligence, humor, honesty, and openness. If it's your goal to hook up with a woman like this, your best bet is to be honest about your intentions, open minded about hers, and non-judgmental. In other words, if she's DTF, that's great, but behaving negatively if she is not reveals your insecurity, and proves her right in rejecting you.

This is the approach I took in my 3ish years of sleeping around, and the longer I kept it up, the more effective it became. The idea is to treat women like equals, not because you want to fuck them, but because it's the right thing to do. Their motives and drives are not so different from your own. Many of them really do just want to get laid, and aren't necessarily looking for an immediate commitment. This drive is complicated by the fact that so many men slut shame women for wanting NSA sex, and millennia of compounded societal pressure for women to "find a man and settle down", using whatever manipulative strategies they can.

Exis007 · 2019-02-05T21:03:47+00:00

I think if all else fails, apply the golden rule and treat her like you'd like to be treated.

Personally? If I am going to have a casual, sexual relationship with someone I want the other person to be up front about what's on offer. You don't have to be cold, but you do have to be honest. I want to be respected outwardly and personally. That's pretty simple, actually. Don't tell god and everyone that you're screwing and be courteous and decent when you're together. The hardest rule of the casual hookup friend, to my mind, is to draw boundaries that show good faith. By that I mean if someone catches feelings (and the other person doesn't) you can't keep sleeping together; politely disentangle yourself and walk away.

I mean....what do you want out of casual sex? I am sure you want clear communication (you'd be horrified to find out she told everyone that you proposed, lied about birth control, etc.). Do that. You'd want any boundaries explained. If you can't stay over, it's better to hear that loud and clear than to have to guess and make it awkward. And if things stop serving you (either because of disinterest or too much interest) you want to disengage and go on about your life without drama. If you want those things, put those things on offer. Tell someone what you want, be a good guy about getting (and having) it, and then prepare to not damage someone else in the process of getting what you want.

Title	What now?
Author	idaaaustin1
Upvotes	12
Comments	5
Date	February 5, 2019 5:27 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ange9h/what_now/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-now.299877 https://theredarchive.com/post/299877

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