How to avoid RedPill/Alt-Right men as a “conservative” woman?

Uncommon_Sense_123 · 2017-11-30T03:05:42+00:00

Yeah a big heads up here. Stay away from guys who claim to be RP Christians.

They have a huge tendency to gloss over the love your wife as yourself verse but love those other verses about submission. They totally turn Jesus into an alpha bruh in their image by merging the RP ideas with Christianity and view the religion through a RP lens. They are way harder on women than the Bible ever was.

Watch out for guys who practice kino (excessive touchy behavior like hand on the arm, back) and are evasive when you ask questions.

The RP guy will also be a good listener, not because he gives a damn about what you are saying but he is practicing letting you hamster aloud while he STFU and remains stoic or oak. The terminology gets sort of fuzzy.

They have been taught that they cannot show weakness to a female, unless it is a calculated openess used to fool the female into thinking he is a modern open-minded guy. So if he is sharing his feelings and you suspect something is off rethink exactly what he shared. Was it a deep matter or something superficial?

You will notice they spend lots of time on the computer searching for their lost tribe, their exercise will focus on lifting, oh and they love to smirk.

In reality if your skin starts to crawl or they seem a little too polished with the flirting and kino like they are trying to bait you, you may have found one who is operating by the book.

The RP guys will want to always be in control in some way such as always chosing the destination of a date, the planning. It will seem charming at first but you will eventually get the feeling that your are just along for the ride in his world because you are not a valued partner but a first mate on his ship.

Also keep it to yourself about the NWO conspiracy stuff. It will attract extreme people.

MofuckaOfInvention · 2017-11-30T00:39:10+00:00

Your mileage may vary, and I have no idea how much political agreement matters to you, but the general dating scene, even if they end up being centrist or liberal, are worth a shot.

A lot of people make political disagreements work, and you'll often find there are things in common. (A lot of leftists I know are really sincere christians, for instance.)

And yeah, from my time among the trumpets, a traditional partner is seen as prize for many of them, usually under the implication they will all be stay at home housewives who are just as interested in 1488 as they are.

raziphel · 2017-11-30T15:22:13+00:00

Of course it's reasonable to want to find someone who fits your partner criteria. Those people do exist, and yeah, it can be tough to find them sometimes. Conservative demographics are in a state of flux. Many are grasping for "stronger" ideologies because they feel their way of life is dying. Others are adapting and growing. The same is happening with the liberal side, too; ideologies and outlooks are evolving.

Be aware that you might find what you're looking for among a more liberal church, too. I'm serious here; don't fall for the "liberals are all Big Government" bit of straw propaganda either, because it's not actually true. A whole lot of us are doubtful of the govt intentions as well, especially in this day and age when we're flat out dealing with what is essentially class warfare. You might be surprised at what you find.

I'd suggest doing some research on emotional manipulation and abuse tactics, so that you can clearly recognize them when you see them. Why? Redpill and other related ideologies hinge upon manipulation and abuse (because those tactics work in the short term), and being able to spot and name those red flags will make it easier for you to stand up for yourself, to avoid a whole lot of suffering. The other big tell is aggression and demonization. Baseless insults (calling people cucks), the Supremacist signals like Pepe and 'Kekistan', racist slurs, and so on. MRAs and TRP are gateways to racism, sexism, and ultimately White Supremacist fascism. I know that sounds like a slippery slope, but there's a significant overlap in those groups.

Avoid people who put others down to make themselves feel better.

Avoid people who use "females" to describe women. Especially if it's "men and females." It sounds silly, but it's subtle dehumanization. That's a significant and obvious tell.

Understand how manipulators work and how they lure victims. You're dismissing the obvious scrubs at the moment (as you should), but the skillful ones will tell you what you want to hear and play nice... until they get what they want. Look up Pick-up Artist tactics too, because redpill began as an offshoot of that.

Use some things from the feminist toolbox, too. Understand what "toxic masculinity" means and what it looks like, so you can avoid those people. No, it isn't "all men are toxic", but that certain behaviors are (like the frat bro looking for an easy lay, or the redpiller asking about plastic surgery or partner count). Those demonizing the concept of "the patriarchy" are also not likely to respect you because you're a woman; to them, you're lesser. Though it may seem counter-intuitive right now, there are traditionalist and even semi-conservative feminists out there.

Also do some research on how the subconscious mind works, and how we make quick decisions based on small bits of information (it's referred to in psych terms as "thin slicing"). This is what the "tells" mean. Another good thing to know is that abusers can't keep their real personality hidden completely; their masks slip, and it's important that you recognize that when you see it.

If you really like the "Man In Charge" life, but without the disrespect or bullshit, you can look into BDSM. However, don't let your guard down there either because predators exist everywhere.

Once you have a better idea of who you want as a partner, go do the things those people like to do and meet them in person. A good partner is open, honest, respectful, safe, and willing to do what it takes for the betterment of all. Remember that as romantic as it sounds, "love" isn't enough. Relationships take effort. No one is perfect, but we all should work to be better.

Give yourself a set of standards and hold to them. No manipulation, no abuse, no disrespect, no bullshit. Equality. Remember, if they respect you, they respect your decisions. You deserve that. We all do.

TLDR: take mental and social tools where you can find them, regardless of the label. Learn them, understand them. Use them to weed out the bad actors.

hi2pi · 2017-11-30T00:11:28+00:00

As a dude who doesn't know much, I'd offer this:

Don't use specialty or niche dating services. I don't know if "The League" is one or not; just a guess. Just date. Try to find someone that comes across as a decent person, an interesting guy, someone you like because of who he is. Then, after a few dates, allow him an easy out if he's turned off by your conservatism.

A lot of Americans are conservative without being bat-shit red-hat crazy.

Alternatively, use a niche dating service but be up-front about your turn-offs. You'll get abuse (maybe use a fake name to start?) but at least you'll avoid wasting time finding out later on that the guy isn't your cup of tea.

Dating is hard. The time and number of misses involved in finding your match is discouraging. But you're 23. I know it doesn't feel like it but you've got time. I was pretty down on myself for much of my 20's thinking it'd never happen. It took until I was in my late 30's before I found my Heart of Gold.

It was worth the wait.

rhose32 · 2017-11-30T17:21:31+00:00

Do you volunteer anywhere? At a homeless shelter, in a big brother/big sister program, or with disaster preparedness network for example? One thing I've noticed about alt-right types is that they believe they have no obligation to care about other people period (vs conservatives who just believe it shouldn't be enforced the government), so volunteering won't appeal to them. Volunteering also doesn't appeal to frat boys since they tend to just want to party.

Also, I'm a liberal woman who's dated conservative/libertarian men. Dating people with different political orientations actually isn't so bad! The trick is to find people people who you agree with on goals but disagree with on methods. For example, I think as few people as possible should be hungry, sick, or living in poverty, but with respect for individual rights. I've seen scenarios in which government programs can be useful to achieve those ends, but have also seen free market solutions which are useful. They guys wanted those same things, so political became "We want the same outcome, you have this set of tools, I have this set, now lets look at some evidence to decide which tools would be most useful in this context". Also, emphasize respectful and evidence-base communication, and spend a lot of time talking about other topics than politics. It's uncomfortable but you end up learning a lot.

Reld720 · 2017-11-30T02:05:04+00:00

Very minor point, but by definition no one is an actual unicorn. People just think they've found unicorns.

Again minor point, but I'm a stickler for definitions.

RandomTRPan0n · 2017-11-30T01:08:38+00:00

Im a christian RP guy with decent SMV/MMV in a LTR with a girl looking at marriage.

When using dating apps like bumble and the league, you should recognize majority are using it to hookup. right out the gate your raw numbers for potential guys is lower.

My advice is keep your bio up front and simple, i.e. "chirstian traditional values" and Christian guys will find you.

[deleted] · Thu Nov 30 13:03:44 2017 UTC

[permanently deleted]

Title	How to avoid RedPill/Alt-Right men as a “conservative” woman?
Author	la_vie_en_rouge
Upvotes	17
Comments	17
Date	November 29, 2017 10:42 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/7ghewd/how_to_avoid_redpillaltright_men_as_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/how-to-avoid-redpillalt-right-men-as-a.300154 https://theredarchive.com/post/300154

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