(20) Male looking for help moving forward

WallBender · 2015-03-31T03:36:45+00:00

I went through exactly what you're going through when I was... fuck, I think the same age. It was my third year of college.

She dumped me. I cried my heart out, wrote her a long love letter. Still nothing. Fucking ice cold.

6 months later she wanted to get back together but by that time I had seen the light and realized she wasn't for me. Now she was crying her heart out and did so for many months. Even years later she was still hitting me up.

But I have 0 regrets. Not getting back together with her was absolutely the right decision.

To answer your questions:

telling her things won't make her come back. If you want to talk to her to try and learn something go ahead but she ain't coming back because of it and you wouldn't want her to anyway (because it would be out of pity, not attraction towards you).
Give up? On her? Yes. Next her. And yes I do know how hard it is for you to hear that. I was in the same position, remember. But you're asking. And deep down you know the answer too.
Lastly, fuck her and fuck girls for the next few weeks. Focus on your studies. Focus on you. Focus on doing things that ARE in your control to make yourself a better man.

PM me if you have more questions.

JP_Whoregan · 2015-03-31T04:28:15+00:00

I haven't been able to eat, sleep or focus, which is killing me.

This means you are placing far, far too much of your own value in a woman. You have a Class A case of Oneitis. Cut the ex from your life NOW. There is nothing she can do at this point that would affect a positive influence on your life. You're only 20. You're young.

Does it make sense to tell my ex what she did to me and why it hurts?

No. She doesn't give a shit. Because hypergamy. No further interaction with her will have any positive impact on your life. She's moved on, and you should as well. Again, you're only fucking 20. Stop giving a vagina operator so much power over your happiness. You are a man, fucking act like one. Concentrate on graduating, concentrate on lifting weights, concentrate on hitting on women who are not your ex. She obviously did not view you as special, and you should not view her as "special".

This technically belongs in r/asktrp. But I'd like it to stay as a cautionary tale.

[deleted] · 2015-03-31T03:37:09+00:00

You sound exactly like me when I was in college; I even had to take sleeping pills because I couldn't even fall asleep for weeks after I got dumped.

Now I'm 28 with three plates, go on about 2 dates a week and add a new plate every month or so. This is the happiest I've ever been in my life. This is what you do:

No one girl ever matters. You will meet hundreds in the next 20 years of your life and they are all unique and beautiful in their own way. Once a girl becomes not worth the effort then you walk outside and say hi to a girl that walks by.
Lift, eat well, read models by manson, and build up a good social circle of high status guys

Eventually you'll get to the point where you're living my life; go out with a small core of high status guys and they all invite their female friends along. The female friends will cold approach me, they already know my name, and then I decide if they're worth going on a date or not.

Science_isthenewcool · 2015-03-31T03:30:33+00:00

Hi, I'd normally say "read the sidebar and the top 100 or so posts of all time, then read it again" however with finals coming up I'd say read the introduction and the link/post on the sidebar called All-in-one Redpill 101.

If you have any issues understanding anything put questions in AskTRP. Best of luck buddy and Step 1 - start lifting weights and respecting/taking care of yourself. Nobody else will, short of your immediate family and even then, that's not always guaranteed. Take responsibility for your life being shitty, own it.

Now is the time to start doing something about it. Believe it or not, your life is about to get immeasurably better.

fourbet · 2015-03-31T05:47:57+00:00

People have already given you good advice here but I'm going to pile on more because you need to understand this isn't just a few people telling you this.

The majority of the people who are here have been at the same place you're at in life or at least witnessed it enough to wise up.

You really should read as much of the sidebar material as you can.

Allow me to break down some of your post and offer advice.

I just recently learned that she had been cheating on me for months and is now in an open relationship with that guy.

You dodged an STD or baby bullet and should be relieved. Women engaging in this type of behavior are legitimately dangerous. Look up various STD infection rates and ask yourself if you'd spin the roulette wheel with a women who seeks open relationships. She might say she always uses protection, but you need to swallow another red pill: people lie constantly, even loved ones.

When my dog died, she wouldn't visit me or spend time with me. I am in a very dark place right now with a few weeks left of school (I am a sophomore at a college I hate) and am extremely isolated

Women don't love you the same way you love them, and they generally never will. Women don't want to "be there for you" in your time of need. Moping, being depressed, all that stuff will shut a woman out of your life faster than anything. How many times have you read stories about a woman who left a man with cancer, or who lost his job? How many stories have you read about women getting knocked up by another dude while their husband writes them long lonely e-mails from Afghanistan? If your dog dies and it hits you hard that's what your male friends and nuclear family are there for, you need to accept that even great women simply won't care. This is especially true if she's not big on dogs to begin with (when you read the sidebar pay close attention to the lit concerning solipsism).

Second, having no friends in your local area is another ultra turn off for women. Women generally will base their feelings (not opinions, feelings) on you based around what type of people you are surrounded with. It's possible to pull off the lone ranger thing but it still would require high level social skills and at least a handful of people that show you a lot of respect in your area.

With finals right around the corner I am stressing about whether or not I can even adequately prepare for my tests. I haven't been able to eat, sleep or focus, which is killing me. What should I do?

If a woman disrupts your life this much you need to go look in the mirror and slap yourself. There are roughly 3.6 billion woman on Earth. This one is not special, and there are at least 50 who are better than her in your immediate vicinity. You're wasting time lamenting this one. Seriously, stop feeling bad for yourself.

What should I do? Does it make sense to tell my ex what she did to me and why it hurts? Do I give up?

What would you accomplish by telling her? In case you haven't got the memo yet she doesn't give a fuck about you. She gets validation by you investing so much into her while she has to invest virtually nothing. She's not gonna magically snap out of it and become your perfect unicorn princess cause you share some feels. That's in the movies, this is real life.

I am so close to just giving up on everything and I hate it and life right now.

You hate yourself. That's ok, and it's not completely your fault but you have control over it. You need to focus on yourself and build yourself into something you can be proud of. You'll magically find that the harder you work on yourself and becoming someone you love that your luck with both life and women will improve dramatically.

Forget this skeezer, she's a manipulative asshole not worth of your time. Go to the gym. Yes really, go. Don't start next weekend, start tomorrow, start tonight. This isn't some macho "gym bro" thing. The psychological effects of regular exercise are well researched and irrefutable. Take an hour or two every day to pray at the church of swole, that's your time and you won't give it up for anyone.

Adopt a stricter diet. Why not? Eating whatever you want is easy. Eating good food will benefit you mentally and physically and help you stay on point for your schoolwork.

Focus on school, make it competitive. All those other people in your class? Fuck them you can do better.

You're gonna stumble and it's not going to be easy. The reason most people bring around here bring up the gym so much is because it's a relatively simple task and once you establish that routine it's easier to start adding on other discipline in your life.

Part of becoming a man is realizing that it's going to be a lonely road. Men are disposable. Nobody outside of your nuclear family really gives a fuck about you. You have to do everything you can to be the best person for you. This is the only way you're going to find true love for yourself. You won't find it in a woman or anyone else. It's you time buddy, good luck.

If you've never been to the gym or are nervous about that go to /r/fitness and ask around, google it, or send me a PM. In general 99% of gyms are extremely welcoming to newcomers. Nobody woke up and squatted 400 on their first trip, even the most jacked guys in there will generally give you solid advice if you're sincere - they've all been there.

Deep_Crimson · 2015-03-31T07:54:46+00:00

I will add only two things to the very good comments here:

Picture yourself how you want to live ten years ahead from now. Understand that to get there you need to pwn at those finals. Everything else is optional. Focus on your goal and the road there. What you feel is normal and it will be passing soon, at the latest when you grab your current life by the horns and wrestle it to the ground like a modern Hercules.
The best revenge is to live a successful life.

OldMuckyTerrahawk · 2015-03-31T08:03:26+00:00

/r/asktrp for personal questions

bsagecko · 2015-03-31T03:25:03+00:00

Hello, I'm new to the whole RedPill thing but I'm not new to depression especially depression induced by women. First and Foremost if you are having thoughts of suicide go see your on campus counselor, make sure its a male, and talk it out. Otherwise, don't waste your time telling her what she did, or why? Just cut her out of your life now. Go to the gym everyday, even if its 15-30 mins. It will help you with the focusing and schoolwork by providing an outlet for all the emotion/anger. You are worth something, but you have to determine what that is, no one can give it to you. Don't give up on schoolwork, its important and you can do well, even if you get like B- all the way through on the exams it will atleast get you through the semester passing. If you need to talk to someone about the abuse go see a counselor, shrink, psychologist, or whatever you want to call it. At most colleges the first few sessions are free.

ManOfGrapes · 2015-03-31T03:40:59+00:00

First thing, take a day and just do whatever the hell you want to do, but don't spend it in bed like a lazy sloth. After that, ask yourself why the fuck you would want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you.

I'm in school myself right now, and I dislike it quite a bit. However, you have two years of school left to turn yourself into something awesome. Do NOT let some dumb girl define who you are. Do NOT let her define what you are capable of. The breakup is going to hurt for a long time, but you can make that hurt go away by completely focusing on yourself.

You no longer have to: 1) Waste time texting her 2) Buy her things 3) Take her out to dinner 4) Listen to her bitch about how fat she feels today 5) Listen to her whine about what clothes she doesn't have 6) Listen about how she thinks her friend is a bitch for not answering her text 7) Waste your life by not being in control

It's a blessing, and welcome to TRP and the rest of your life.

Title	(20) Male looking for help moving forward
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	10
Date	March 31, 2015 3:11 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/30vw8x/20_male_looking_for_help_moving_forward/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/20-male-looking-for-help-moving-forward.30831 https://theredarchive.com/post/30831

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