Heya everyone!

 

I realize from the get-go, that what I’m writing now is likely not to be taken very well on this subreddit. With that said, I hope you do give it a read, and think about what I’m saying, before throwing the usual “BP Beta” and “feminist” insults on me. I also realize this post (while unintentional) ended up quite long - I have done my best with formatting, to make it relatively easy to read and digest.

 

A BRIEF BACKGROUND, SO YOU KNOW WHERE I’M COMING FROM:

I’m 30, male, currently single, decently good looking, have a good job in marketing in one of the biggest firms in the world, and come from a lower-upperclass family. I have a master’s degree, and I’ve had enough sexual partners to be considerably above the global (as well as American) average of any surveys.

 

Nevertheless, perhaps the most important part of my backstory, is this: I am from, and currently live, in Denmark (one of the most gender-equal societies in the world), and have travelled to over 25 different countries throughout the world. I’m a polyglot, as well as a polymath (though some might argue that I’m merely a Philomath).

 

I was very into PUA when I was a bit younger, though don’t do it much anymore. I haven’t been on this subreddit a particularly long time, though I’ve probably read through around 30’ish posts here so far.

 

I mention these points to avoid unnecessary time explaining stuff later, as well as the “this is just a beta who can’t get laid”-type comebacks, that seem very commonplace here when anyone posts something the general public don’t agree with.

And one last one, before anyone starts yelling about it: I’m a staunch opponent of modern-day western feminism. Those women creep me the fuck out.

 

I ACTUALLY DO AGREE WITH MANY THINGS POSTED HERE.

Consider this a mild disclaimer. I actually do think some (many?) of the posts, advice, and ideas here have some level of truth to them. I think it’s important that we take a step back, and sometimes evaluate where society is going, and if it’s going in the direction we want it to. I also think there is a lot of very basic advice here, for the socially awkward, and those having big problems with attracting women at all, that is very valid and useful to certain people.

Now, with that said...

 

WHAT DO I ACTUALLY WANT TO TALK ABOUT?

Primarily 3 points:

 

  • Understanding cultural differences.
  • Extreme black/white points of view.
  • Accepting scientific and statistical facts, evolving, and accepting you might be wrong.

 

You’ll notice that these 3 points overlap quite a few times, during this little essay of sorts.

 

UNDERSTANDING CULTURAL DIFFERENCES: HOW WHAT YOU SAY, IS BULLSHIT TO A LOT OF PEOPLE.

I want to start by saying, that this is a general issue, particularly with Americans (sorry, but it is). I see this quite often in American discussions on feminism, where women assume their particular problem is a global one – if you hadn’t guessed it, it’s usually a specifically American problem, not a global gender issue.

 

Sadly, I also see that here. Constantly. In practically every post.

 

Speaking frankly, a lot of the advice given here to men, may well work in the US. But in Denmark, it would get you laughed at – not just by women, but also by men. It’s not just “traditional” or “old-fashioned”, it’s outright outdated. It feels outdated, in the same way I’m sure many of you feel about middle-eastern women being forced to wear burkas, or women not being allowed to vote (though obviously not quite as extreme).

In fact, one American wrote an entire book about how pissed he was at Danish women, because his alpha-male American behaviour just didn’t get him any pussy in Denmark. You can find it on Amazon, it’s called “Don’t Bang Denmark”. The guys behaviour has since been ridiculed across pretty much all media platforms in Denmark.

 

Many Americans, both men and women, often lament that Danish men are all “betas”. There’s no “real men” in Denmark.

By the logic of this subreddit, that would surely mean that men aren’t getting any here, that men are whipped. Yet we have, across the board for both genders, more sexual partners than Americans, and have sex more often. That itself, should make you seriously reconsider your hard stance on “beta and alpha”-type behaviour, when it comes to sexual encounters. We're also, for over a decade, measured to be the happiest people on the globe.

 

But let’s take a different culture as an example: I’ve spent several years living and working Tokyo. Japan is an incredibly male-dominated society, and many of the women follow the general ideas laid out in RPW, simply because it’s the culture there to do so. Men work, go drinking a lot, and women don’t work and watch after the family, focus on make up and fashion, and so forth. In this particular aspect, it's very much "1940's America".

But here’s the kicker: Japan is one of the lowest developed nations on the scale, when it comes to how frequently couples actually have sex. In fact, this cultural aspect is so disastrous to Japan, that it’s facing a massive population-decline crisis, that threatens to send the entire nation into economic hell in 20-30 years.

 

My point here, is that the advice you give, isn’t for everyone. Most of the advice given here, is specific to American (or American-type) culture - but no one seems to realize this, or even consider this. Understand that social dynamics work vastly differently, in different cultures. I feel silly saying this, as I really consider this a bit of a “duh” type thing, but it seems I have to.

Different cultures, have different cultural norms. Different cultures nurture different likes and preferences, in different kinds of people. Please, keep this in mind in the future.

This pretty much leads up to my second point:

 

EXTREME POINTS OF VIEW: TRYING TO CATEGORIZE SHADES OF GREY INTO BLACK OR WHITE.

Too many posts here, are far too extreme. Not just in the advice or attitude they have, but more so in that many seem insistent on viewing complicated topics in a black/white, yes/no, right/wrong way.

The world just isn’t that simple, and if you think it is, you’re ignorant. Not necessarily uneducated, but ignorant, on the borderline of just being plain dumb.

 

I’ve seen far too many posts here already, either as an OP or as a reply, that insists on viewing the world this way. They will have say things like “ALL women are X”, or “ALL men secretly really want Y”.

 

I suspect that this is largely tied to my first point, in that people just don’t realize that everywhere in the world, doesn’t work the same as their small cultural area (as small as a city, or area of a city). To take Tokyo as an example again, the way to pick up women would change (quite dramatically, even) depending on whether you are in the Ginza district, or the Shibuya district, enough that you could do great in one area and completely fail in the other. Areas that are less than 10 minutes away from each other by train.

 

Another example often found on this subreddit, would be the categorizing of “alpha” and “beta” for instance. Both the fat nerd in the basement, the shy introvert ‘nice guy’, and the successful and handsome man who simply has no desire to ‘lead’, would all be categorized as beta males - yet their success in life, sexual encounters, social dynamics, and more, are vastly different. Yet the advice given to them, is usually the same. “You’re beta. You should become Alpha”.

 

Yet another example would be: “No man wants to date a slut. Women should keep it under 5 partners.” This just reeks of puritan American quasi-religious views on sex. You guys might not realize it, but when it comes to views and understanding of sex, America is pretty far behind most of the western world. I suppose it is rarely said, since “America is #1!” and all, but that is the truth. Many other cultures do not care nearly that much about the amount of sexual partners you've had, and the “number” can be vastly higher before anyone would have an issue with it.

 

One last example would be “men want a wife that cooks, cleans, and is classically feminine”. Again, simply not true. Most of my male friends would go absolutely nuts with a wife like that. Instead, they tend to seek someone who they are sexually compatible with, someone with whom they share intellectual ideals and interests, someone who they consider intelligent. The idea of “housewives” is almost non-existent in Denmark, and tends to be looked down on by both men and women (one clear exception to this exists: immigrants from the Middle East).

I can understand this from a primarily American perspective, in that it is a counter-movement to the modern-day extreme feminism. However, here is the kicker: that type of feminism primarily exists in America, and is generally considered “really out there” in other nations, by both men and women. I can take my own mother as an example here: she is very independent, has owned her own (successful) company, has a large pool of both male and female friends, has a rich private life, is generally considered a “strong woman”. When confronted with examples of the American “feminazis”, she outright laughs at their extremism, even though for many feminists she would be considered the "ideal".

 

So to summarize here: stop viewing the world in black and white. Accept that nuances exist for EVERYTHING.

 

ACCEPT FACTS AND EVOLVE WITH THEM.

My last point here, is one about accepting scientific facts, learning from them, accepting that they might mean you’re wrong, and evolving based on that knowledge.

 

I have already seen several examples here, where on one hand; scientific facts are the end-all-be-all of a discussion. Usually in an ultimatum-like sentence such as: “You can’t deny the facts.” Yet at the same time, you read posts exclaiming “Modern academia is highly political” or “Psychology is pure feminism these days”.

 

You cannot have it both ways. In fact, you cannot even have it either way. You can have it one way: science wins. End of discussion.

You cannot disregard facts and science, just because it disagrees with what you want to say, or what you think. I believe it was Neil deGrasse Tyson, who said “The great thing about science, is that it’s true whether you believe it or not.”

 

So when I read posts that say “Women can’t think logically” or “That’s because women are bad leaders” and so forth, I cringe. Why? Because it has been proven repeatedly, that they are just as capable as men are. In fact, some studies indicate women are actually better leaders than men. I know! Shocking!

 

Sadly, when such things are pointed out here, no one wants to take it seriously. No one wants to admit that they were wrong. No one is willing to look for better ways to go about their activities.

 

It is ironic that this is an issue here. This subreddit is based on the idea, that what many others are doing, is wrong, and that there is a better way to go about it. But at the same time, this very community shuns anyone who says “I think you’re doing it wrong, and here is a better way”. What made this very community possible in the first place, is now looked down upon. It is much like a person who says “I want to live in a Democracy, but only one where people who disagree with me are not allowed to vote”.

 

So my advice is to take in the opinions of others, accept scientific facts whether or not they agree with your particular world view, and evolve from that. Grow better. Grow stronger. Discard opinions that are proven to be factually incorrect.

As a side note: Please realize that correlation = // = causation. That's obviously not just an issue here (it's a general problem with the human condition), but please, keep it in mind would you?

 

IN CONCLUSION.

So, I realize this turned into an absolutely massive post, one which is much longer than I had originally anticipated (probably about twice the length as I assumed it would be). But I do hope at least some of you will read through it, and take in what I’ve said.

 

As I started saying much earlier, I do agree with a lot of the advice that is given here. Some of it is very valid (in the right context)! But there is also a lot of horrible advice given here, generally because of ignorance on the points I mentioned above. (or perhaps just dumb ignorance in general - I remember reading a post, where the OP was criticized for being too eloquent).

 

This subreddit would also gain much more general credibility, and receive much less hate, if people kept those points in mind when posting, and surely that’s what you want? I (wrongly?) assume that one of the collective goals of a subreddit like this, is to reach out and affect as many people as possible, to help bring about the change in society that you desire?

 

Anyway, I’m finally done now. I hope I managed to reach a few of you. Keep on’ rockin’.