I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years and he has looked after me for most of the time. I felt a lot of shame over this and people would say I was using him for money and that I should be working. I had the implant in for most of our relationship and I think it was making me despessed confused. I've got it out and I'm starting to change how I feel about having children. I wouldn't want to send my children to school though I would want to home school them, I didn't think I would have children because I thought I had to work and my partner would not respect me if I did not make my own money.

My bf is not working at the moment because we both had a bit of a mental breakdown, I ended up going to women's aid for help because he was scaring me. We live apart now and he has recognised the behaviours that were scaring me and he has done very well at stopping them. He is still not working though and he plays video games all the time and gets stoned.

What can I do to help him have the confidence to get back to work and quit his addictions? I have been trying to make sure he knows I'm listening to him and being grateful for what he does for me. How do I speak to him about this and let him know I've had a change of heart about having children and getting married?

I feel worried about how I've made him feel by saying I don't want children or marriage. I know I have not been innocent in the relationship, I was not keeping our home nice for him because of how depressed I was and I have eczema and it was all over my body so when I tried to clean my skin would get very sore. It is better now and I feel like I could be a better girlfriend.

I would appreciate your advice and thank you for not thinking I'm being lazy for relying on my partner financially.