I’ve been trying to pin down the nuances between maintaining frame and being a dick. I’ve done pretty well but still get myself into situations where I’m come across as a little too gruff and drive the girl away.

The most recent example is a chick who I just set up a date with. “Let’s meet Sat afternoon for a drink”

Her response: “unfortunately not free Sat. afternoon, how does your Sun look? And also I’m actually trying to see how long I can stay dry this year. I’m prioritizing health”

I respect the decision to be healthy as it is one of the tenets of TRP. But also think I would be falling into her frame if I changed the date to something that doesn’t involve alcohol. My first thought was to say something like “The bars I go to have the best food so well be grubbing as well.”

How do I respond to this without folding into her frame?