Hello asktrp,

I have known about TRP for about 2 years now. A year ago I really started to learn some actual lessons from it like: Start working out (cuz its good for so many thing), Be confident, Be able to spend quality time with yourself instead of having to spend the time with someone else just to be happy.

All these lessons have been well and good, and I have grown more confident, worked out more and especially now during this scary period of being alone at home alot, being able to spend time with my self and do things that I enjoy.

So a little less then 2 years ago I (M21) got a in a relationship with my current girlfriend (F22). I never had a relationship prior to this and was definitely lacking in the self confidence department. I'm probably like a 7/10 where she is like a 5/10. The first half a year of dating went pretty good, we would chill, watch a movie, eat some food and have great pasionate sex. However as the relationship started to mature I learned about less fun stuff that have to do with relationships.

She has quite a big family, so I had to go to birthday parties, chirstmas holidays, birthday brunches etc. Now the problem is, I really don't enjoy doing any of those things at all. I also have a rough relationship with her parents. My mother in law and me had a pretty big argument about half a year ago where she was literally screaming at me. (I left and drove home because I definitely wasn't going to deal with abuse behavior like that). Ever since that day I have been distancing myself from the relationship more and more. Never really asking her out a lot. Telling her I'm never communicating with her parents or go to birthdays and that sort of stuff. And I was actually enjoying this a lot, I could have the fun stuff like watching movies and having sex, without the boring relationship stuff. However all good things have to come to and end, because my girlfriend called me two days ago telling me I wasn't putting in enough effort (which is kinda true), everything had to come from her side and we didn't do enough fun stuff together.

She told me these things and broke up with me. I was honestly quite indifferent about it. A little sad that the sex wouldn't be happening anymore but also a little relieved that I wouldn't have to deal with her family anymore. Yesterday she called again crying, saying she didn't want to break up and she was sorry. I suggested something like a friend with benefits relationship, because I was very strict in saying I wasn't going to do any more family stuff anymore, because they have been very rude. She said we could keep trying for the relationship etc. So I kinda caved and was just like, yeah we'll try it again.

So my question here is, Should I get back in a relationship like this knowing it is pretty much doomed to fail? Should I break up with her in a polite manner? I really don't like telling her I never want to see her again, because I'm still hurting I love a lot by saying that. He are having dinner tomorrow, first time we see eachother after all the breakup and get back together stuff. I'm confused on what to do, on one hand I know the relationship will not have very longterm succes, but on the other hand I don't wanna hurt anyone. Even though I feel like not putting in effort in the relationship can probably be just as painful for her. Any help with this would be appreciatied. I just wanna say that writing it all down also helped a lot to get my own thoughts straight so maybe thats half the reason I did this too. (throwaway account cuz girlfriend uses reddit)