Today is my birthday, and nearly a year ago today, my gf of 5 years broke up with me. I won't go too deep into the history of the relationship or my past, but to cut a long story short, it was brutal. On top of that, I have ASD. I've certainly overcome, and do well for myself in spite of it, but it does handicap me at times. I discovered TRP after being dumped right after my last birthday. I have learned so much off this sub, I feel enlightened and confident around mew new gf. I still have a ways to go, but I feel that I am getting better each day.

You have probably seen sprinkles of my postings about her...I was raised a "Nice guy". No, my mom wasn't a crazed feminist, my dad wasn't alpha per se. He was away working a lot so he could ensure myself and two brothers had food on the table and never went without, which is something that I will be forever grateful for. But I am a nice person by nature, and it's difficult to shake..until now.

I have come to the realization that I feel sorry for my ex-girlfriend. In spite of the emotional manipulation, abuse, and cheating that went on and I found out after. Yea, I went through an anger phase for a long time, and it hurt me big time, but I feel enlightened and understand. The reasons why I feel this way are:

  • My ex used to get bitchy at me for complimenting her- I remember she used to say the only people who she liked to be complimented by were perfect strangers, because they had no reason to lie. She could never wrap her mind around the idea that she was beautiful because I meant it, not just because I then wanted her to get on her knees and suck me off. How fucked is that? It pissed me off that she valued the opinions of complete strangers over her bf of 5 years.

  • Insecurity- I'll admit, being with someone 5 years is an awfully long time and when you break up with them, you have no sweet clue wtf to do. My ex was really insecure, and it only got worse as the relationship wore on. I watched her personality deteriorate, her body too...sprinkled in with a few "diets" and "I'm going to the gym" only for the norm to revert back 5 weeks after that declaration. .

  • Fear of being alone - When she broke up with me, I found out she was seeing some other guy from her hometown. If you looked up the definition of "loser" in the dictionary, his picture would be next to it. He has no job, no education, no driver's license, a 12 page long criminal record (have fun travelling!). She was with him, and the new guy she's with, who isn't much better, because she was afraid of being alone. Right after she dumped the first guy, she called me up wanting to reconcile. I half entertained the offer, I did tell her I am seeing someone else (true) and we'll see how it went. It was funny, because the sex we had in the 3 months was much better than the 5 years when we were together. She started dating this guy after me literally because she was afraid I'd never go back to her...which was true, my now gf is much hotter, smarter, will have an amazing job when she graduates and lives the life I want. Meanwhile, she's still floundering with the new guy, complaining how he cheats on her, yet they're back together. I'd be willing to bet the paycheck that I receive tomorrow that if I broke up with my current gf, she would get back with me in a heartbeat. Would that happen? Not a fucking chance. She knows she goofed, and the sad part of it is she has likely resigned herself to the fact that she'll never find a guy as good as me. Ever.

  • Life goals- It's pretty normal for people to have life goals. Hers were a lot like mine. Buy a house, get married, have kids kind of deal. Problem for her is she needs to plan to get pregnant because of something with her ovaries, which means she needs in vitro. That shit aint cheap where I live. She wants to buy a house..sure she's got money saved, but her being with the guy she's with won't help her reach those goals. It kinda makes me feel sad for her, at least she had a chance of reaching those goals, now her chances of meeting them by 30 are slim...unless she finds a BB who's willing to pay for her in vitro treatments and put up the downpayment for the home lol. Ironic in a way seeing how she had a downpayment ready to go, but wanted me to rent off her. Fuck that.

From this day forward, I am done being a nice guy. I am only going to be nice to myself. I know I am a good person, and have the potential to be a great man. I feel sorry for her, but from now on, it's time to do up the bootstraps, pull up the pants, tighten the belt, and go claim what is rightfully mine -- spinning plates and fucking the best quality women out there.