Working on curing my oneitis

-Petulance · 2015-05-31T14:08:15+00:00

"They just broke up yesterday officially, the two of them, and she's going to start dating a friend of mine."

Branch swinging 101

Vibronaut · 2015-05-31T11:57:54+00:00

You need to go on a night out and jump on a few grenades

ScholarInRed · 2015-05-31T12:06:04+00:00

I'm basically trying to be a MGTOW and childfree

This means you refuse to participate with women in any vector of the dating game, aside perhaps from whoring. That's what I gather, I'm not MGTOW myself.

thus that's one of the main reasons I am so inexperienced is because even though I may whine and bitch about being a virgin, deep down I kinda feel that it's not worth it in the long run.

At least be honest with yourself; you want to get laid and up until now, you had no idea how or why your methods weren't working. Well, now you have TRP, so -

I'm not the most attractive guy, my hygiene is subpar and I'm overweight,

These two are now your No. 1 priority. Forget this girl. Just erase her from your mind. That's hard, but you have to do it anyway. Erase her from FB, stop texting, stop talking, ignore.

Health and wellbeing are the first priorities for a man. Women are several items down the list. Get lifting, get clean and groomed and lose some weight. You need monk mode to get over oneitis and to work on your body to erase the signs of beta living.

In the end, I've been facing myself and just trying to tell myself that she isn't interested in me, she's nice to me, but niceness != flirtatious.

What you need to do is change your priorities to building yourself, so that you escape this summary. It does your esteem no good to think that you're beneath the woman of your desires. The solution is to stop desiring her, realise AWALT, internalise AWALT, and work on yourself so you never get to this stage again.

my hygiene is subpar and I'm overweight, and my friend who fucked her is too,

If this friend remains as he is (hint: he will) then you either need to forget him too or subtly bring him with you along your path of improvement. Never drop TRP explicitly. Just mention the benefits you get from working out, invite him to the gym with you, and go from there. But you will probably have to forget about him and move on. It sucks, life sucks, modern society sucks, but all these things help build great men.

Also;

B: Bros before Hoes. If I were to do anything with this girl he would be extremely upset and it would more than likely put a huge strain on all the friendships at work I have and I would probably be unable to hang out with any of them.

Beta friends will always sell you out for their favourite pussy. Don't think for a moment that he wouldn't, if he's as beta as he sounds. This is not reason to fuck his girl. It is reason to judge him as a man.

NeoreactionSafe · 2015-05-31T12:16:51+00:00

"Thanks to TheRedPill I don't feel I've decided that I don't ever want to get married and I don't ever want to have kids, so I'm basically trying to be a MGTOW and childfree, the two kinda go hand-in-hand to be completely honest."

Everyone seeing this?

This is the point I've been making here. Red Pill started with high value men talking about how to increase Power and rise in the natural hierarchy, but it's effect in most cases is MGTOW.

This kid is still mostly Beta... but at least the wheels are spinning so we can talk with him now.

Just remember the basic rule:

No Charm, No Love

If this girl is actually Charming you (showing respect with her dealings with you) then you need to test if you have Power over her. Make some moves to see what she does. If she looks up to you then you might have more Power than you know.

If you test your limits and she is not receptive then you know where you stand.

Grow some balls and find out your true status.

...if you get shot down you will be able to squash that foolish love you have.

IT IS BETTER TO KNOW THAN TO NOT KNOW

Be prepared to no longer have love for her if necessary... truth requires risk.

You control your own Love, not her. She chooses to Charm you or not.

Be warned that creepy guys are Betas that are unable to stop loving even when they get no respect. For your own self respect as well as her annoyance if you are not well received you must cut off your Love 100%. This has to be understood in advance and you must be disciplined in this action. Failure to stop loving in a work environment can have serious consequences in you getting fired and possibly get a bad report.

I've done workplace romances and know they are tricky.

"Now this friend has been REALLY hung up on her for the longest time, way more than I am. A few years ago, the two of them had a fling and fucked a couple of times and ever since then he's been trying to get into her pants again, but hasn't been able to since because she's been dating that guy."

So basically she's fucking multiple guys all around you (and likely many you don't know about) and has proven to be disloyal in a LTR and yet somehow you think:

"If I'm being honest, she's probably the only women I've ever met that I've felt was worthy of pursuing."

...I mean seriously if you just read what you write you answer your own questions.

This woman has no great virtue. You confuse virtue with your lust... blinded by lust into love.

trp_hamlet · 2015-05-31T14:11:39+00:00

An incel deciding to MGTOW is like someone going vegan and they've never eaten a steak.

Recommend you read more and stop rationalizing your lack of confidence as "women aren't worth it." You aren't informed enough to make that decision.

You won't find the validation you are looking for here. Approach some girls that you aren't terribly interested in. I think you'll surprise yourself.

PlanB_pedofile · 2015-05-31T13:09:22+00:00

Oneitis is a mental disorder. It's a disease that fucks you up. All of it us based upon fantasy as you are seduced by her beauty. Oneitis is one sided.....

I hard for a girl and mine lasted 10 years. That's pretty fucked up. I knew of our 0.2% chance of ever dating and i think that's what made my fantasy more that. A fantasy.

Here's what i learned over the 10 years. Men evolve. Women don't. In fact women stop at 16 to 18. Second she was rude. I didn't see it before but she is actually rude. Most people know how to say thank you or exchange in normal one on one conversation but she doesn't. Either i was so below her i dont even register a polite response or she's just rude.

I've been around many more women over the past 10 years. They come to me, we talk, they say thank you, they are polite and they know how to treat another human like a basic human.

I use that as my litmus test. Can the woman say "thank you"? Women in committed relationships have basic human decency to say thanks on a compliment.

She couldn't. She was just rude so i was able to shit list her based on lack of human politeness.

asdfghjkltyu · 2015-05-31T13:47:20+00:00

When you've had a few relationships and internalized TRP teachings its easy to move past pre-relationship oneitis. I still think of all the things TRP teaches avoiding onetis is the most useful for most people. It can be absolutely crippling for a guy and really make you do some very embarrassing things.

Most of the stuff your parents and the media tell you basically encourage onetis so its basically the normal operating procedure for guys under 25.

Oneitis is still a bit harder to avoid when you're actually dating someone, as spending time with them and the concept of a 'relationship' does tend to lead with oneitis (this is the one for me, I love her, I want to be with her etc). But if you can master never focusing on trying to win a specific girl for more than a week than you will have a lot more success.

hatraddit · 2015-05-31T15:16:13+00:00

It's a gigantic world. You may find this hard to believe, but there are millions upon millions of other attractive girls out there.

Just keep that in mind. Tunnel vision is a bitch. I know this from experience.

JimboLitres · 2015-05-31T11:05:40+00:00

bro honestly forget about her, raise you SMV and when your shredded and a top 5% male watch she will b foaming at the mouth for you to fuck her

raiseurT · 2015-05-31T15:54:54+00:00

The only way to destroy oneitis is to reduce proximity as much as possible (find a new job), introduce yourself to as many new women as possible, and add a direction and purpose to your life. You may not understand now but you will in a few years, i promise.

BadWolf819 · 2015-05-31T16:00:51+00:00

Clearly your just making excuses. Normally I would agree with you, to not shit where you eat but your insecurities run so deep you'll just make excuses for literally any girl you want to hit on. Hence the never having asked one out. Start going to the gym to lose some weight, if your not at least trying to do this then this sub isn't for you. Then JUST MAKE A MOVE. It doesn't matter if it's her or someone else you like or a stranger at a bar, just try to get yourself out there. Your young enough to turn it all around but time is running out. Good luck.

One_friendship_plz · 2015-05-31T17:24:14+00:00

Little about me, I'm 20 years old, haven't kissed a girl or even asked one out yet.

Didn't want to read the rest after seeing this, ask someone out..anyone.. even if you're not that interested in them, just do this shit by the end of today, even if it's like 9 pm right now, go back outside and ask someone out.

The funny thing is some guys on here didn't realize they weren't that ugly, and that some girls were willing to say yes.

Do not do anything else till you ask at least one girl out. You will make 0 progress if you don't ask anyone out, unless you bring a lot to the table in status/wealth/looks, no women would ask you out first.

Anyway she seems heavily pedestalized, would probably make for a shit relationship anyway. She has the 3 of you guys insanely obsessed about her. lol the guy has been trying to get with her for 3 years? You too? And her ex was paranoid as shit? You need to work on giving yourself some self-worth.

moose_war · 2015-06-01T03:40:31+00:00

Normally the best cure for oneitis is to make a move, get harshly rejected. Suddenly all those feely feels you had for her will disappear and turn into humilation and anger when you realize she never saw you as a sexual being at all and no longer acts nice to you now that she knows you have a dick that wants her vagina.

Unfortunately in this situation your hands are kind of tied. Don't fuck with your job just to cure your oneitis, but just remember what I said if you find yourself not being co-workers anymore.

nemaxofredpill · 2015-06-02T15:41:09+00:00

For point A - That is fact

For point B - He isn't dating her so it's fair game. Now, if he was dating her or he was your brother/roomy or something close, then I would follow the bro before ho rule just so there isn't any drama.

However, just reading what you wrote about her, I can tell you are stage 5 oneitus with a side of gravy. You really need to focus on yourself and start lifting instead of trying to rationalize your weight being OK because your friend is overweight and banged her. Clearly, he wasn't a good bang or she would be clawing at him again.

Either way, this chick is clearly above you because you have put her there by disqualifying yourself and making it seem like she is a unicorn. So, I'll be frank and say that even if you weren't working with her, it's not going to happen unless you make some life changes.

redpillcynic · 2015-05-31T11:19:42+00:00

Your friend has a one week period. If nothing happens, you swoop in

Title	Working on curing my oneitis
Author	Heraclitus94
Upvotes	4
Comments	20
Date	May 31, 2015 10:35 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/37y21p/working_on_curing_my_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/working-on-curing-my-oneitis.33119 https://theredarchive.com/post/33119

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