This isn't necessarily women related, but I'm at the end of my rope. You guys have helped me out so much in the past and I hope you can give me advice once again.

pnw_diver · 2015-06-07T01:11:08+00:00

im_not:

Now that school is done, you'll be amazed to learn that, in reality, almost all relationships are temporary and somewhat superficial. The truth is that even the longer term relationships, like marriage, are often superficial and have an expiration date on them.

Learn to fly solo. I did, a long time ago (I am 43 now). The marriage is a thing of the past, and I have had just hundreds of friends over the years, but the things that stick are the things that you do for yourself.

Quit depending on other so much. Achieve for yourself some, in particular, outside of your job. All that spare time and money you earn is for you. Do something interesting with it.

And another thing: that chick you're wishing was sitting on your shoulders at the outdoor concert? She's a creation of your imagination. The reality there, it's not as great. The worst mistake we men make in particular when we are younger is believing we need women more than we actually do. Don't make that mistake -

Bwood56 · 2015-06-07T01:05:34+00:00

I'm in a similar situation OP. You gotta find that inner peace that allows you to be alone and enjoy it. Solitude only becomes loneliness when you let it

bhormaci · 2015-06-07T01:31:58+00:00

dudes make (new, non-childhood) friends based on common interest primarily...if you want to make friends, find some hobbies you enjoy.

motorcycling, sports, whatever...

2015-06-07T02:48:43+00:00

People have recommended Models by Mark Manson on TRP (thanks) and other PUA sites. I'm only a few chapters in, and it seems promising. Granted, the book is geared towards pick-up but I see the content relevant to your (generally speaking) career and social life. I recommend it to you and maybe you will see what I see.

Anyway, it's possible that your problem is that you're not polarizing enough. You are probably coming off as needy because you certainly appear that way in your post. Okay, you know those douchey-types? They're polarizing. They made you feel some type of way and you knew you didn't like them right off the bat, right? I'm almost certain, you show up to those gatherings and don't really say anything that will make them like you more or hate you more.

The reason is because you are not being honest. You know what you're into. You know what you like. Let it be known. Wear it on your sleeve. You are already making the assumptions for these people that they will not like you. Let them decide.

Aside from that, I think you're buying into the Facebook-life bs where everyone seems they're having a blast except you and it has affected your self-esteem. Stop that. Work on yourself for a while and don't worry about everyone else.

TL:DR Be bold, polarizing, and honest. Don't worry about everyone else because you are coming across as needy.

fastball21 · 2015-06-07T02:09:33+00:00

This is going to sound really odd, and completely off topic. Write a book for yourself, that has no end. Make it a life long project. Every day write at least one page. It doesn't matter what it's about because eventually it's going to go everywhere. What starts off as some drama or murder mystery is eventually going to drift into sci-fi, esoteric, time travel, comedy-western-planet-of-the-apes cauldron of everything. This isn't to get you published but to open your creative realms to the physical world.

IronMeltsinmyHands · 2015-06-07T01:03:03+00:00

you can meet people on RSD Nation. Just go on those forums and look for your city. Or you can join a meetup.

Work on yourself with RSD, that's my personal advice. Owen's got some mad work ethic and content. People will flock to you like moths to a flame after you reach some level.

Remember, people only look at success. Which is why we love our women. They look like angels [but their brains are shit]. Men need to work hard so others will flock to them.

Women don't struggle in this sense. Your everyday is a struggle.

have you seen the Shia LaBeouf [whatever, fuck his name] motivation video?

Born_of_a_broken_man · 2015-06-07T02:17:34+00:00

All of these friend groups people imagine are glorified by those not in them. You're imagining them to be something more meaningful than they are. A lot of those who are frequently posting on social media about everything they do are just bouncing between relationships and getting high off the new people feeling. There's technically nothing wrong with that, so go do it yourself. Go awkwardly introduce yourself to people and hope for the best, and if nothing comes of it try with different people. Fuck em if they don't like you who gives a shit.

Similar to RP Theory in regards to getting women, you have a scarcity mentality with social groups. You don't have much so when you don't get invited to something it hurts. If you have 4-5 social groups you wouldn't give a fuck and you'd just go do something with another group. Work on your abundance mentality, and not just with women.

My only advice to you, if you want it, is to go amass a stupid amount of fake friends, don't worry about long time, meaningful relationships. If you know anything about human nature you know these types of relationships are always dysfunctional after a while anyway. Just go awkwardly introduce yourself to others and go do shit. If that sounds vague it's because it is. There isn't a set of rules and steps to meet new friends, you have to just be extroverted and interested in meeting other people. If you aren't an extrovert but want the benefits of being one, then fucking learn how to fake it.

oldredder · 2015-06-07T01:58:33+00:00

Stop being boring. Or accept being boring and the life that goes with it. That's about all that makes sense to me. Sometimes people are just too tied up with their own stuff, or just not willing to be social. You can't get the benefits of being social without actually being social, which means being interesting some of the time

2015-06-07T00:45:02+00:00

I have no real friends.

So? Man the fuck up mate. The only person that you should need is yourself.

2015-06-07T05:00:14+00:00

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antariusz · 2015-06-07T06:36:53+00:00

An alpha without a pack following him is going to have that empty feeling you're describing.

So... interesting hobbies... you need more of them.

And then get out and find people that want to do those interesting hobbies with you.

You could try checking meetup.com

2015-06-07T12:12:47+00:00

Have you tried sport clubs or something?

2015-06-07T12:51:59+00:00

You have to be proactive and organize your own events and invite people to them, you have to be valuable to your peers. They're all also waiting for someone to invite them out to an adventure.

Before dating women you have to learn to date yourself first. Same thing with non romantic relationships.

MachiavellianRed · 2015-06-07T12:58:11+00:00

/r/asktrp

mojo_juju · 2015-06-07T04:15:38+00:00

I've never been to NYC, but I imagine it attracts shallow people who chase status and money. In that sense, perhaps you're not alone-- there may be many people without "true friends".

Another thing to think about: you're in one of the most competitive cities on earth. competitive in every way... and you're trying to compete.

I just want to be a part of something.

My advice:

Volunteer at, or join an organization that focuses on an issue that you're passionate about/interested in. You'll meet people with similar interests/passions. I went to a huge university, population wise. I found a community by finding a group of people with similar interests/passions.

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