Means where you think your being watched more than you actually are.

Currently in monk mode. Coming off injury and lost all gains and have to start over. Caught in the cycle where I tell myself I will be better in the future but that’s taking away my happiness in the present. Leading to self loathing and missed opportunities in the present because I’m not at that ideal goal.

How do I stop caring and being self conscious of lack of gains/where I am in life until I surpass monk mode?