It took me years to discover this subreddit. I mean it has just been a year but I meant that it took me years to realize how much of a Queen I am from the start and how much it has been known by everyone.

I was reassessing my friend's list and now that my "nice girl" cloak has been lifted I could see and remember which ones have been good to me when I had nothing of self-worth (I never run on of self-worth, but it was easily taken away from me as a child to teenager) to the ones who used me, looked at me and treated me like trash.

It also hurts to say that even your family relatives will probe on you just because you are a woman and just because you haven't found yourself yet.

I discovered that my cousin has been picking on me and his son too. I don't know why but maybe because I always seen him as beta male growing up even if I was younger I think I already have a bullshit meter. His wife is nice to me because they want something, and they will try to get it from me once they have access, but now they will never have because I found them on their filth.

Male cousins and male classmates who knows my worth and see it has always given me a look of reverence, one that now I realize is the look that tells me: "You are more than this, just see it for yourself."

Some saw me in my lowest times and I will never forget the subtle defeat look in their eyes when they saw me back then. It's that silent gaze that they give that made me remember it all now and I feel both nostalgic and regretful that I haven't seen it sooner.

I think I have cried enough tears to know that everyone around me was hurting me and my gut and my soul knows that I will get better in time.

Now, I am happy with the friends list I have. When I look at their profiles I feel nothing but respect and happiness.

I feel calmer and collected that I am on this path. I am very happy that I am meeting a lot of Queens like you. It is my honor and uttermost pleasure to see everyone here grow with me.

May year 2021 gives us more learnings!