Alright, who wants to massage this unicorn ? She isn’t looking for a hookup btw

dodgedthatbulletboi · 2019-09-22T05:19:31+00:00

Those earrings mean she has Tyrone’s baby.

CleofisRandal · 2019-09-22T05:38:59+00:00

I’m loyal. Not married to child’s father.

aussielander · 2019-09-22T05:28:25+00:00

'rudely honest', aka 'bitch', if she puts it on her profile means she takes it to the next level, just what every man wants

OldFashionMarine · 2019-09-22T11:09:58+00:00

Lol......"black feet" emoji. Hhhhhmmmmmmm......

HvyArtilleryBTR · 2019-09-22T14:11:36+00:00

Ah, a wigger

SeekingLevelFive · 2019-09-22T11:21:12+00:00

Once she goes Tyrone, she'll bring him into your home.

Chairman_Ellen_Pao · 2019-09-22T08:18:53+00:00

OK! We be "rudely honest" too! She looks like a hippo!

cycloneous · 2019-09-22T15:49:40+00:00

G-d damn it, the weekend isn't even over and we have another horror story of a pregnant profile to analyze! Don't worry guys, I'm taking one for the team so that you don't have to!

This is a small profile, but there's alot going on here!

Analysis

5'1

Translation: I haven't said it yet but your ass better be at least 6 feet or more

Don't message me. . . . .

Translation: We haven't even dated yet, and I am going to place unrealistic demands on you

Don't message me asking to hookup or being disrespectful

Translation: How do you think I got pregnant? I hooked up with a disrespectful Chad or Tyrone, and they left a semen deposit in my SRU (Semen Receiving Unit).

I have nice feet so feel free to massage them

Translation: I love men who have foot fetishes; oh yeah, and by the way, you better like giving foot massages because the only way you're getting any of my putang pie, aka, SRU, is to worship the ground I walk on with a six figure salary, six pack abs, a house, two cars or more, and a bank account gives me the tingles!

Verdict

Avoid at all costs, has a crouch goblin waiting in the oven, and you're expected to pay for it!

Recommendation(s)

Run for hills!

[deleted] · 2019-09-22T09:15:19+00:00

Skanky feet for all those feet guys lol

NickTesla2018 · 2019-09-22T11:34:48+00:00

I have a nice foot that I'd like to plant in her ass for creating another stupid profile and another human being.

Good_Old_Friend · 2019-09-22T12:22:07+00:00

20 year old thot who thinks she is a princess. See the crown emoji? The only she has going for her in this pic is that it is not in a public bathroom.

SquirtBurt · 2019-09-22T14:40:26+00:00

Graduated what? High school?

abortion_clinic_king · 2019-09-22T15:06:13+00:00

What in the trailer park meth addict food stamp cigarette Yee yee is this

MRMRising · 2019-09-22T15:54:30+00:00

20 and preggo by a dude that does not want to be a dad is always a good way to start adulthood. I'm sure there is a good man just around the next corner that will grab her and wife her up.

RedditRouge00 · 2019-09-22T15:29:51+00:00

Once I seen those earrings, it all made sense.

BobbingForBunions · 2019-09-22T18:26:26+00:00

The only appropriate response to this profile: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYVO5bUFww0

Bruchibre · 2019-09-22T10:58:12+00:00

I don't want to hookup with her I only want to massage her Nice feet. Because she's honest and deserves it.

[deleted] · 2019-09-22T12:28:14+00:00

NOPE

noobie107 · 2019-09-22T17:12:30+00:00

i get that there are some things about one's appearance that they are born with and can't change, but is it just me or is her head disproportionately small for her body?

Typo-MAGAshiv · 2019-09-24T08:39:39+00:00

How's this for disrespectful: trying to pose seductively while in a bathroom is gross. trying to pose seductively while you're pregnant (and HUGE) is beyond fucking retarded. And you do know "eating for two" is just an expression, right? You're not supposed to double your caloric intake.

"I'm loyal" - then where's the dad? And once again, loyalty is a "show, don't tell" virtue. If someone says they're loyal, listeners should immediately doubt.

"...rudely honest" - hey, me too. You're disgusting, and not just because you're pregnant and trying to snag new cock (but mainly that).

"I have nice feet..." - no such thing. That's like saying you have nice elbows.

"...feel free to massage them." - I have a better idea: use your "nice feet" to walk your nasty ass back to the guy who knocked you up.

AliBarakat · 2019-09-25T23:17:13+00:00

She's not a unicorn?

I beg to differ. Her hair looks like the horn on a unicorns' head, and her facial features starkly resemble an equine. It's the closest you'll get, literally speaking.

FuryTheUnseen · 2019-09-23T18:12:24+00:00

If you have a pregnancy kink smash a few times, say all the right things and then dip when the baby is born.

Title	Alright, who wants to massage this unicorn ? She isn’t looking for a hookup btw
Author	pankajkcmax
Upvotes	94
Comments	41
Date	September 22, 2019 3:46 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/d7lb65/alright_who_wants_to_massage_this_unicorn_she/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/alright-who-wants-to-massage-this-unicorn-she-isnt.344082 https://theredarchive.com/post/344082

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