Question r/dating_advice, how is it that when a guy complains about being friendzoned he's accused of self-entitlement to women's bodies, but when a woman complains about being pumped and dumped and *explicitly states* she should be owed something, there's internet hugs all around?

I (29F) had been dating this man (32M) for a short while. We were introduced by a mutual friend, and although the connection was a slow burn initially, it really started to grow and I really started to like him. He said all the right things, did all the right things, took me on nice dates. He said he was looking for something serious. I opened up to him about being badly hurt in a previous relationship and we bonded over past experiences, how much we valued honesty and trust. It took me a while, but eventually I felt comfortable enough to open up fully. After many dates, many deep conversations, and mutual reassurance of our feelings for each other, we had sex for the first time. He was loving, he was caring, he was passionate. We cuddled for hours the next morning, we were playful, it all felt just right. He even told me about our next date he was planning. As he dropped me off at work that afternoon, he kissed me goodbye, and just like that I never heard from him again. I’ve sent him a few messages over the past two weeks and nothing. Not a single word. Just like that he reduced me to nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing.

Some might say, this is the nature of dating and no one owes you anything. And while this might be somewhat true, once you get to a certain point with someone, you do owe them something. There has to be some responsibility. And ghosting someone after they’ve opened up to you on such an intimate level is nothing but cruel. I would take rejection any day over the silence that makes you wonder what on earth you did wrong and how you could get it all so fucking wrong.

I went into this feeling confident in who I am and secure in myself. I had the best of intentions, not wanting to hurt anyone, neither him, nor myself. And he’s left me hurt, dispirited, and wanting to absolutely crawl back into myself again. Never in my life have I ever felt so worthless. I feel like a fucking shell of a human being.

I don’t know whether I feel worse about the fact that he did his to me, or that I could be so wrong about someone. But I know that in his mind, he will have justified it in a way that makes him feel that it’s ok what he’s done. And I have no say. I have no say in any of this.

I just want to say, please guys AND girls, if you’re ever thinking of doing this to someone because it’s the “easy” option, don’t. Please don’t. It doesn’t matter how confident someone is, how strong they are, how mentally prepared they are for dating. Whether you’ve been on one date or ten, whether you’re in a relationship or not, there are few things as hurtful as opening up to someone in the fullest, deepest way possible, only to be deleted like a speck in time as if they, and the relationship, never existed.

EDIT: I know that when someone ghosts you, you shouldn’t let it determine your self-worth. I agree with that completely. I’m just saying that when it does happen, unless you’re made of steel, no matter how rationally you try to look at it, it still just fucking hurts.

EDIT: I have asked our mutual friend about him, and she has assured me that he is fine. No life-altering or debilitating circumstances going on there. Unless it’s something that he hasn’t told anyone. She can’t seem to make sense of it any more than I can. And they are not close friends so suffice to say she does not know him extremely well. And thank you for the awards and for all of your kind words, friends. It is helping me so much reading all of them and hearing your stories. Fuck these damn ghosts! I will reply to your comments soon :)