I kinda feel like Cypher from The Matrix, hence the title.

I recently found /r/RedPill, after being banned from /r/AskMen (which is becoming more and more /r/AskWhiteKnights) for expressing more /r/RedPill based beliefs. I’ve been feeling like I was the only person that saw through everything. I felt like I was the only person who realized that a woman’s only value is her looks, or that nice guys weren’t perpetrators, they were victims of “bluepill” worldviews. Then, l found /r/RedPill, and read some of your stuff and felt like “holy shit! These people understand!.”

I am in the same position as a lot of the people I’ve read about on here. I was also raised in a feminist family full of women and never taught any masculine values. I was raised to be ok being beta, and that the universe would just, kind of, work out for me. I was a white knight, and a nice guy. It never worked with girls. Then, one day, a very attractive friend of mine that never had problems with women introduced me to PUA. I studied the shit out of that for a very long time until there was basically nothing else to study. I had an encyclopedic knowledge of the stuff. I’ve killed the nice guy, but I never really put any of real effort into going out. I did some approaches here and there but considering I’m overweight, I never bothered putting much effort into it because I never bought the “looks don’t matter. Only confidence” shtick.

I’ve had this feeling for a while, about gender dynamics, that I wasn’t able to pinpoint and I’ve recently realized what it is. When I started realizing what was really going on, I had another major epiphany in my life; I actually hate women. They are total value-sucking scum that exist for no other purpose than to ride the alpha cock-carousel and sucker beta’s who have been tricked by society into horrible social contracts when they finally lose their beauty after spending the previous 3 decades acting like fucktards. They are total garbage, and generally unworthy of life IMO. That being said, I still want to fuck them. It’s in my biology, obviously. I do not mean to say that I want to remove myself from them. I know some people in this community are voluntarily celibate. I have considered whether I’m just butt-hurt cause I suck with them, or whether I really believe this because I think it’s a valid characterization of their gender, in reality, and I’m fairly confident it’s the latter.

My major problem with all of this is that even though I’ve realized these things, I’ve also had a 3rd realization; I suck even worse in a RedPill world. I’m terrible at academics. I only got through high-school because my Vice Principal felt sorry for me and let me do extra work to make up the grades and I failed out of college. I also don’t feel like I’m good at anything. I’ve never really been good at anything other than one natural talent I have that isn’t of much value career-wise. And, I’m also horrible with seducing or getting women. I’m not confident in the jobs I’ve had, and it definitely comes through as I have not been well respected in work places. This is usually because I’m objectively bad at my job(s), but I manage to keep them because I’m very personable, easy going, and accept responsibility for my own mistakes. I don’t have any value, in any area of my life, and I don’t know what to do about it. (obviously...get value...but I mean, I don’t know where or in what way I’d even begin). On top of that, as I said before, I’m overweight, which I’m attempting to change now, but it’s hard as fuck.

So, my problem is this; what does a man do, or shift in his beliefs/values, when he realizes not only was he given a bad deal, like all men, in “bluepill world”, but that he’s even worse off in a redpill one...? I’m aware this post may sound “whiney”, but that’s not my intention. I’m just looking for input from outside RedPill sources.