Thank God for the red pill, for one, because I am getting to a point of having it all. I’m young, and I’ve had a pretty tough life that matured me quickly. My hard situations in life such as losing friends and loved ones to death, have been intertwined with my bad experiences with women (unfortunately). One of my best friends got set up by a woman to be robbed and killed. So now my views of women are so fucked. I think I hate them. I don’t want to, because there are women that i truly love, like my mother and sisters.

I thought just raising smv and being able to have whatever kind of woman would help me become better. Being a strong man physically, etc. While it does provide some euphoria and pleasure, I am still a damaged, angry, even volatile man when triggered. I have been dealt the hand of mental turmoil and survivor’s guilt. Now I have to deal with it. Getting back into therapy, because my mind is once more in turmoil, which is why I am here asking this question. I hope there’s some guys on here that have went through more than some girl cheating on them or something and can speak to me with understanding of such a degree of pain. I just feel like doing something to take life by the balls and own it. I want to win. But I am admittedly losing the inside battle. How can I change my entire outlook and be a happy guy. It’s so hard to be a beacon of light right now, and thats what I want to be.